The Democratic States of Ump31 is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.721 billion Ump31ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 68.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ump31ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,558 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 231,843 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Concert halls sport signs proclaiming "No Shorts, Sandals or Swastikas", ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications, large sections of Ump31 have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there, and the national census includes an opt-in to join the government-run dating service. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump31's national animal is the Giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ump31 is ranked 24,864^th in the world and 1,695^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 86.05 law-abiding acts per hour.