The Socialist Federal Republic of Zhopgrad is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Boris with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 16.155 billion Zhopgradians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Healthcare, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poloville. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Zhopgradian economy, worth a remarkable 4,127 trillion Zhopas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 255,489 Zhopas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism, foreign leaders are advising that President Boris's letters must have gotten lost in the mail, living well is no longer the best kind of revenge, and hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zhopgrad's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zhopgrad is ranked 3,618^th in the world and 184^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 124.78 law-abiding acts per hour.