by Max Barry

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42.05 NormanJackson's trades...

NormanJackson's Deck

NormanJackson has 119 cards: 3LEGENDARIES 8EPICS 29ULTRA RARES 26RARES 44UNCOMMONS 9COMMONS Value...

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Back to the Primitive

118

LEGENDARY CARDS

Civil Rights Lovefest
“Respect. Equality. Care.”
Todd McCloud was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 12
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 83rd Most Influential: 293rd Most Stationary: 391st
26.551 billion Todd. Museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Take upon ye thy Lands, and Eat of its Fruits”
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 5th Most Primitive: 12th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 16th
11.714 billion Merconites. Lack of airports, ritual sacrifices, and absence of drug laws.
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Huh?”
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 59th Most Primitive: 116th Most Ignorant Citizens: 160th
10.405 billion Annihilators. Enslaved workforce, avant-garde cinema, and zero percent divorce rate.
SEASON ONE

EPIC CARDS

Psychotic Dictatorship
“Please, may I offer you a cup of Kool-Aid?”
Most Devout: 1st Most Primitive: 1st Most Pacifist: 2nd
31.539 billion Deep South Borlandeese. Museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and daily referendums.
SEASON ONE
Compulsory Consumerist State
“Ora et labora”
Most Primitive: 243rd Largest Gambling Industry: 332nd Largest Insurance Industry: 467th
9.738 billion Davitians. Lack of airports, pith helmet sales, and exploding hoverboards.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Spirituality is the Key to Happiness”
Most Primitive: 5th Most Ignorant Citizens: 5th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 11th
31.59 billion Opodeldokians. Closed borders, deadly medical pandemics, and complete lack of public education.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Give pea... ummm... war a chance.”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 4th Most Devout: 9th Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th
17.431 billion Knowwear in Youtopians. Barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and sprawling nuclear power plants.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Gloom Over Dominated”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1st Most Devout: 4th Most Primitive: 9th
13.115 billion Nadir Dystopians. Rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete lack of public education.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“From each to his ability, each according to her needs!”
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 2nd Most Devout: 2nd
17.971 billion Gynos. Closed borders, frequent executions, and national health service.
SEASON ONE
Corporate Police State
“All hail the Allmighty Nak nak!”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 6th Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 14th Largest Mining Sector: 19th
34.865 billion NakNakians. Anti-smoking policies, fear of technology, and triple-decker prams.
SEASON ONE
Liberal Democratic Socialists
“Nothing to see here...”
Most Primitive: 2nd Most Devout: 7th Most Ignorant Citizens: 17th
7.734 billion Phallites and Labianites. Avant-garde cinema, lack of airports, and restrictive gun laws.
SEASON ONE

ULTRA-RARE CARDS

Psychotic Dictatorship
“Pray to me, my wretched playthings, and I will laugh!”
Most Primitive: 16th Most Ignorant Citizens: 29th Most Devout: 30th
24.852 billion Argent Mesonites. Strictly enforced bedtime, ban on automobiles, and zero percent divorce rate.
SEASON ONE
Father Knows Best State
“*”
Most Primitive: 28th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 80th Largest Black Market: 173rd
29.967 billion Amestrians. Avant-garde cinema, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“It is very easy to change; not so easy to improve.”
Most Primitive: 29th Most Devout: 70th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 166th
12.441 billion Sheward Subjects. Triple-decker prams, hatred of cheese, and complete absence of social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Moralistic Democracy
“Where Men Are Men... and the sheep run scared”
Most Primitive: 11th Most Ignorant Citizens: 32nd Most Devout: 48th
26.688 billion Redrakeans. Ritual sacrifices, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Shut up! Who asked you?”
Most Primitive: 6th Most Ignorant Citizens: 24th Most Devout: 32nd
27.535 billion irrelevances. Closed borders, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Furthermore, I am a bell end”
Most Devout: 42nd Most Primitive: 65th Most Beautiful Environments: 71st
25.33 billion utter morons. Strictly enforced bedtime, ban on automobiles, and punitive income tax rates.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Generic Offensive Comment”
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 72nd Most Primitive: 794th Most Armed: 939th
12.711 billion Galliant Toeicans. Fear of technology, zero percent divorce rate, and hatred of cheese.
SEASON ONE
Corporate Police State
“Stays crunchy, even in milk!”
Most Primitive: 313th Most Ignorant Citizens: 395th Highest Wealthy Incomes: 477th
12.7 billion Triple Rainbowians. Barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and complete lack of prisons.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Pray and feel the love”
Most Primitive: 7th Most Devout: 10th Most Ignorant Citizens: 11th
15.681 billion faithfuls. Avowedly heterosexual populace, ban on automobiles, and ritual sacrifices.
SEASON ONE
Authoritarian Democracy
“For Him we serve!”
Most Primitive: 37th Most Devout: 155th Most Pacifist: 468th
10.201 billion Religous Zealotsians. Anti-smoking policies, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation.
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Stop reading my motto!”
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd Most Ignorant Citizens: 2nd Most Devout: 3rd
9.77 billion Disposables. Enforced nudity, complete lack of public education, and stringent health and safety legislation.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Real True Freedom is death”
Largest Mining Sector: 17th Most Ignorant Citizens: 21st Most Primitive: 45th
9.555 billion Marnadyians. Sprawling nuclear power plants, parental licensing program, and suspicion of poets.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“All will Praise Mighty Allah”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 175th Most Primitive: 183rd Most Devout: 290th
7.592 billion Islamists. Avowedly heterosexual populace, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare.
Psychotic Dictatorship
“For the success of all shall we prosper!”
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 36th Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 43rd Most Primitive: 85th
9.143 billion Domestic Corporate Americans. Multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, compulsory military service, and rampant corporate plagiarism.
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Please don't go to our eastern neighbors, alright?”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 8th Most Primitive: 10th Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15th
8.997 billion Western Scientists. Rampant corporate plagiarism, aversion to nipples, and suspicion of poets.
SEASON ONE
Corporate Police State
“Diese Welt von der wir träumen”
Most Primitive: 30th Most Ignorant Citizens: 53rd Largest Gambling Industry: 81st
6.765 billion Pasloehageners. Triple-decker prams, enslaved workforce, and complete lack of public education.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“We choose THAT option”
Most Primitive: 24th Most Ignorant Citizens: 26th Most Subsidized Industry: 76th
6.194 billion Dementistanis. Barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Men Lead the Way, Women Stay at Home”
Most Primitive: 204th Most Ignorant Citizens: 268th Most Devout: 371st
5.903 billion Onaundians. Public floggings, prohibition of alcohol, and suspicion of poets.
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Execute Order 66”
Most Devout: 15th Most Advanced Defense Forces: 18th Most Ignorant Citizens: 19th
5.303 billion Lennyians. Prohibition of alcohol, free-roaming dinosaurs, and enforced nudity.
SEASON ONE
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