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by The Fusean Empire of Paxiosolange. . 47 reads.

Vélograd, 2019 — Day Four



OFFICIAL TABULATIONS FOR THE VÉLOGRAD OLYMPICS
ARE BROUGHT TO YOU IN PART BY

Men's Hockey — Day Three

Today was an unfortunate day for the Men's Hockey event. The (Kasu) Kasugan team entered the rink terribly sick. Multiple players had contracted stomach flu overnight and woke up feeling irritated and sickly. In the second period against the Refugee Team, number 21 collapsed, leading to an alternate being switched in. Finally—in the third period, two offencemen began to vomit profusely upon the ice. Medical staff were called and the game was called unilaterally by the umpires. Being that there was no opportunity for the teams for a postponement or a do-over, the Kasugans team landed a D.N.Q., the Refugee Team receiving the bronze medal per walkover.

For the (Tanabon) Tanabonian team, the match was less of a tragedy and more of a comedy. They won the gold medallion, having played evenly to the third period. In the final moments of the game, the defenceman's shorts (having been back-ups) fell to the ice and caused a disaster when they caused the players behind him to trip upon them and fly away. The (Troyskova) Troyskovan team began to laugh uproariously, seeing the entire Tanabonian team having slipped on a player's drawers. However, this allowed Tanabon's puck to ever so gently slide into the net, winning them a point. The entire charade was worthy of immense entertainment.

Women's Hockey — Day Two

The (Kasu) Kasugans stole the show in tonight's women's hockey event. Against the big, ominous (Western Vapia) Vapian team, the Kasugans won 4-3. Achieving gold. As a sorts of intimidation, the Vapian players began chanting an enchanting coloratura soprano aria. The Kasugans trembled in immense fear, but never let the fright take their ambition. In the end, they won by two points, leading the Kasugans to demand opera tickets from the players, beginning an unusual yet charming friendship.

As for the (Hong kong empire) Hong Kongese, their ambitions were sated by a long match. They won bronze against the Aboriginal Athletes team, cheering and revelling in their success. After their success, their went to celebrate holiday cheer by hosting a gift giving ceremony. Number 2 commented "I got Number 12—Lin—a new necklace after the one her sister got her broke! Don't tell anyone". The captain of the Aboriginal team commented after the event, "We did the best we could. Unfortunate as the loss is".

Two Woman Bobsled

The (Toshavo III) Toshavoan athletes enthused the crowd today during their two-woman bobsledding section. As the sled took off, a spectator threw a water bottle onto the course, causing the sled the gain air time and fly into a curb. The change in moment actually caused the bobsled to speed up and gain a few seconds. They won gold, and one of the bobsledders later stated, "It'll take more than a water bottle to stop Toshavo!". Other meaningful performances from (East supple lund) Neo Supple Lund who won silver, and (Kronica) who won bronze. The latter team throwing christmas presents upon spectators after their giving-of-medals ceremony.

Team Figureskating

The Fusean Team rousing the spectators of the team figureskating event. Figure-skating leader Armand Horspierre won an 118.3 in technical points, even when racked against harsh judges—including Fabio Roman, a devout figureskating critic some label as "imperious". They both won gold medals for their great talent, including a new team figureskating trick known to Armand as a "high valse". The (Tanabon) Tanabonian team won silver, even in having one of their teammates go down due to stomach flu. The ([nation]=noflagTroyskova[/nation]) Troyskovans received a bronze medallion for their charming performance.

Curling — Day Two

(Western Vapia) Vapia scored nine points in the curling event today, despite an agitated situation brewing in the home country. They won gold against the Greater Saint-Paul) Saint Paulite curling team, who won silver. The Vapians adorned special green, white, and red suits in order to display their national pride today. Some say they were so distracting that it caused the Saint Paulites to lose, one of the curlers from G.S.P. stating "Those uniforms caught my eye! It's so unfair!".

(Nuroblav) Nuroblav won copper in the event this evening, scoring an unbeatable ten points against the cunning (State of roma) Roman team. Despite all their efforts, the Estantinese triumphed, and celebrated additionally by bringing three sparking champagne bottles out onto the ice. The captain of the curling team promptly stepped upon the evaluators' table in a gentleman's outfit and toasted to the valiant Romans, who accepted their cheer and participated in the sharing of the champagne. That being said, the giving-of-medals was tricky as both teams were unable to take the event seriously.

Partner Mountaineering

The frightening Partner Mountaineering event has been considered "extreme", "dangerous", "unfit for the olympics", and "horrifying". Despite this, the extreme sport was including by the Fusean Imperial Olympic Committee as an event in the Vélograd olympics. Being far more perilous than yesterday's crew mountaineering event, this sport involves timing two skilled and brave athletes in climbing Mt. Korole. The extremely talented (The imperium of steve) Latin team made the trip in just over two hours. Cato Marcus and Cecilia Octavius left Mount Korole in with rips in their suits, tears in their eyes, and snow upon their heads. "It was the most brutal thing I have ever done" Cecilia remarked. "Many times up there I considered giving up, but no—Cecilia made sure to keep me moving" Cato added. During the journey of the (Guyomartand, British Bayonet United Empire's team, olympian Oscar Kensington claimed he saw a moss owl feeding off the innards of a mountain bear. They won silver. Finally, the (Kasu) Kasugans placed third, coming just short of the United Empire's olympians. Their journey ended with them promptly urinating off the face of the mountain, as the helicopter came to escort them back to Vélograd.

The Fusean Empire of Paxiosolange

Edited:

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