by Max Barry

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DispatchFactbookMiscellaneous

by The Empire of Rusheim. . 83 reads.

OMG Valerian’s adventure


Stygia:

Aardy:

Heather:

Seo:

Ingram:

Anaseae:

Royne:

Vixanne:

Astoreth:

Set:

Some of these I don’t have pictures for and others, the pictures aren’t working. Nothing I can do about that...

Valerian Purecoat panted heavily from exertion, her white fur sleek with sweat and her wings caked with snow. She had been flying for days on end, although not all at once, only stopping when she was too tired to move or when she saw yaks grazing; she required the grass they ate to nourish herself on the journey as well; being a unicorn-Pegasus. The terrain was tough, the climate unbearable, and as if Valerian didn’t have enough problems, she was being hunted. Every time she had landed so far, she heard the baying of hunting dogs, this was the only warning she’d get before a mysterious group of attackers would appear and start shooting at her with arrows; she would only have time for a few mouthfuls before fleeing. The frigid temperature made flying extremely hard, almost freezing her wings off; when she rested, she did so in one of the temples dotting Rusheim’s landscape. On this day, the fifth day after leaving her companions at Arugasth with King Ikari the dragon to follow her, she was losing it, the conditions were getting to be too much. She shivered and huddled against the corner of the temple she had taken refuge in, hoping that the Hunters weren’t nearby; she had taken care to select a mountainside location so that it’d take them a bit longer, as they would have to climb.

As she huddled against the wall, Valerian thought abstractly of how her companions in the quest were doing; Stygia, Aardy, Heather, Seo, Ingram, Anaseae, Royne, Vixanne, Astoreth, and Set. Stygia and Royne were, as far as she could tell, an abomination made entirely of dark magic and a lich respectively, Aardy was an Aardvark, Heather was a succubis, Seo was...human, as far as she knew, but it was hard to tell under his layers of clothing; same as Ingram, Anaseae was a little ghost girl possessing a golem, Vixanne was a Phantasm-some sort of unique race to the exotic land of Seraphim, Set was an undead chimera controlled by Stygia, and Astoreth was a spirit possessing a body made of minerals. Their quest was to assasinate the Herald of Order, an abomination who stole the powers of others and wanted to rule the world on the orders of his goddess. The questers were also all Heralds, except for Anaseae, Vixanne, Astoreth, and Set-Valerian was the Herald of Innocence, purity, and joy (the name of her goddess was Patha), Stygia was the herald of Corruption, Aardy was the herald of nature, Heather the herald of love, Seo the herald of identity, Ingram was herald of order despite not possessing the magic associated with the goddess and Royne the herald of necromancy. The thought of little Anaseae and Aardy waiting anxiously for Valerian made her stir a bit, moaning in pain and staggering to the front of the temple to look out-maybe the weather had gotten better?

A voice calls out to her from behind, making her turn and gaze upon the visage of the one who called her-a small cotton-ball looking bat wearing a monocle and flapping over busily. Valerian had been too exhausted to go any further into the temple, and hadn’t suspected any danger because most of them were abandoned. She rubs her eyes with her wings and wearily sighs.

“Wh...who are you...and what did you say?”

The small bat chuckles and lands on her back, adjusting his golden monocle and holding out a wing in the direction of the passage he came through, summoning light that illuminates the passage.

"Goodness Valerian; you don’t remember me? I’m the one who gave Aardy his spiffing monocle of power. You should be glad that I’m not as vengeful as Order or you’d be dead."

Valerian gasps; how did she not remember him upon sight? The Cuddlebat, Cuddleton V, had been there at the briefing the heralds had been summoned to by force, quite literally, a portal had opened up under her as she was grazing and threw her into the conference room; this had been where she met the others. Her knees quivered in terror.

“Mr Cuddleton V, I’m so sorry I didn’t remember! I didn’t mean to disrespect a god!”

Cuddleton V sighs in exasperation, the gods were always treated like this around mortals, as vengeful maniacs who would obliterate them at a moment’s notice for any perceived slight, and indeed, many of the gods were vengeful enough to make this fear a reasonable one. He pats Valerian on the flank gently.

“Now, child, I won’t harm thee. Come forth into my monocle parlor for a spot of tea; eh? You’re in my temple, after all.”

Valerian blushes and simply nods-what could she say to a god? Nothing of worth, likely. Cuddleton V waits for a moment and sighs, taking off his monocle and looking at her warmly.

“Valerian, I would like to have tea with you. I don’t get mortal visitors often enough, and I quite like hearing their perspectives on things.”

Valerian shifts her weight to the side, thinking, but then she grunts, realizing she might make him angry, and begins walking to the Parlor, using the pathway Cuddleton V had gone through. Upon entering it, she was amazed by the vast array of shelves containing many types of monocles; the grand chandelier of crystals that lit the room, the fancy monocle patterns on the carpet. Cuddleton V flaps off her back and shifts into the form of a male unicorn wearing a top hat, tux, and a monocle, glancing back at her as he trotted over to the dining table, which has a tablecloth with chaotic designs-maybe a gift from Chaos herself?

“I often take the form of others to ease tension when I’m talking to mortals; just forget I’m a god and talk to me alright?”

Cuddleton V, as a unicorn, pours the tea and slides it over with telekinesis, smiling invitingly so as not to frighten the Herald of Innocence. Valerian accepts it gratefully, sipping it and then looking up.

“Th...thank you so much...what do you want to talk about master?”

Cuddleton V uses his newly made horn to levitate the cup of coffee to his muzzle, smirking a bit as he sipped.

“Your wardrobe is truly atrocious my dear; you have no sense of fashion.”

Valerian frowns, confused, and looks down at herself.

“I’m not wearing anything though...”

Cuddleton V nods knowledgeably, adjusting his top hat a bit. The monocles in the room begin to shiver and quake in his presence, causing Valerian to stare at them in fright. Cuddleton V closes his eyes for a moment.

“Tsk tsk, hasn’t Patha taught you about public nudity? It’s indecent. Here, let me help you.”

He ignores her sputtered complaints, going to his monocle racks and carefully selecting a few of them and returning to the table, spraying them out for her to look at. Valerian blushes and leans over the table, pointing her hoof to a pretty black one to contrast with her pure white coast. Cuddleton V smirks at this, looking into her left eye as he places the monocle over her right eye.

“Ah, I’ve changed my mind. You have superb fashion senses. This was made here in Rusheim from local Onyx ore, did you know?”

Valerian bites her lip and stares at the table, trying not to think about how handsome Cuddleton V was as a male unicorn, trying to ignore his scent as he leaned in to adjust the monocle.

“No, I didn’t know! Which town is it fro-“

Valerian’s stomach growls, making her frown and look down, embarrassed. Cuddleton V chuckles at this, backing away from her.

“Ah, it would seem like you need much more than just tea, my dear.”

Valerian nods, hoping he wouldn’t obliterate her and take offense that she had the gall to be hungry. Taking the nod as a “yes”, he summons a massive Monocle-shaped cake from the pantry and places it in front of him, and a receptacle of pure magical energy in front of Valerian. He nods, satisfied, and starts cutting a part of the cake for himself. Valerian gasps in surprise.

“That’s for me? It looks so expensive!”

Cuddleton V chuckled again; Valerian was certainly more amusing than the fool who tried to rob his monocle collection last week-that poor soul had been sealed into a monocle and thrown into the ocean.

“Dear, money isn’t an issue for me. Eat up!”

With grateful tears in her eyes, Valerian begins to make short work of the pure magic, the two of them eating in silence for thirty minutes until she feels full and looks up at him.

“Thank you for everyone Cuddleton V...you’re a truly kind god. Can I ask you something? What happened to the other Cuddletons?”

Cuddleton V nods, wondering what his guest would ask for-money? Fame? Maybe power or help on her mission? All would be in his power to grant. He blinks as she tells him her question; it was completely unexpected.

"The other Cuddletons? Those spiffing bunch of bats are in Seraphim of course. The last report I got from them recently told me about how the hollow Queen was selling information. However, she gave them sufficient enough monocles not to crush her."

Valerian tilts her head, confused because he didn’t answer who they were exactly or ever happened. Deciding not to press her luck, she just sips her tea and nods reluctantly.

“Why, of course. How...did I not guess that. Err...you like fashion, don’t you?”

Cuddleton V does a fashionable pose on the chair and winks at her, tossing his mane around in a way that makes her blush.

“Like it? I’m the fashion god! Let’s go update that wardrobe girl!”

Valerian squeals in delight, but a loud BANG resounds throughout the room as Cuddleton V’s face is blown off, exploding and spraying fragments of flesh everywhere, his muscles and bone exposed and his horn fractured from the explosion. Valerian shrieks in terror and looks up helplessly at the Huntress, who had finally caught up to her, wearing an arrogant smirk, holding a hunting rifle over her camouflaged clothing while her lackeys and dogs entered the room. Valerian takes a step back, terrified. The Huntress walks over to Cuddleton’s corpse and starts to saw off his horn, but he grabs a monocle suddenly and slashes with it across her throat, causing her to gurgle and step back. Cuddleton V takes the form of an elf and taps himself on the face, restoring it.

“That was not spiffing.”


How long had it been since Aardy had been captured by Order in Eprad? To Aardy, it felt like months, maybe years, of degradation and misery, being kidnapped and forced into a ship, separated from his allies and friends. He didn’t know if they were still alive, but he had his doubts on if Valerian made it. Valerian, his only real companion from the journey; even if he had only just met her before she mysteriously vanished. She was a clumsy unicorn, yes, but she was also kind and caring, and the only person that had really talked to him other than Anaseae or Stygia when she wanted him to do her dirty work. With a heavy sigh,





The Empire of Rusheim

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