by Max Barry

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DispatchMetaReference

by Dorab. . 20 reads.

Dispatches I Use

I was tired of having to scroll through pages of dispatches, so this is a reference point.
There has been much written about Easter Egg issues but one aspect rarely mentioned is how a Daily Issue is selected to become an Easter Egg issue. Recently, I asked this question on the NS Daily Issue forum and got the following responses:

"Honestly it's more of a gut feeling. If, after editing it, we feel it's uniquely special in some way, we'll egg it."

"Most Easter Egg issues are ones which in some way break the game's basic design philosophy, such as by including elements considered non-canon in the general NSverse (#80: aliens, #223: zombies, #266: spaceships, #375: leprechauns, #430: real-life people and acknowledgment that this nation is part of a game, #471: Santa), or whose main point of interest is some meta factor other than the issue's actual narrative (#77 was originally to celebrate the game's anniversary, #1122 is clearly far more notable for its writing style than as a case study of the problems associated with drug use). However, there are exceptions. #215 is the Easter Egg that comes closest to potentially having made a viable normal issue - it's technically a valid political question, even if it's a very, very, very minor one."

The Easter Eggs issues are meant to be only available once in a nation's lifetime. However, Issue #622 Holiday Masquerade was for quite some time capable of being triggered multiple times. This software glitch has now been fixed, but many nations will probably have a greater count of eggs than they should have. There is at present no way of ascertaining which eggs a nation has, other than a player keeping a record of them, nor if any are duplicates for Issue #622.

As hinted at above, many of the Easter Egg issues are not related to your usual NationStates affairs such as statistics, population, or policies, but are jocularly pointed at the custom fields of your nation's Settings. Thus, many Easter Egg issues can be triggered by appropriate words in your currency, motto, or animal fields, etc.

There is a total of 14 Easter Egg Issues as follows:

Issue #077 World To End, Or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary

Issue #078 Should We Pull The Lever?

Issue #080 Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement

Issue #215 What's Your Favourite Colour?

Issue #223 Zombie Attack!

Issue #256 Suburbs Are Out Of This World

Issue #266 Breaching the Great Fourth Wall of @@Name@@

Issue #375 Keep Your Hands Off Those Lucky Charms

Issue #408 Pony Peril

Issue #430 Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues

Issue #471 Red Sleigh Down

Issue #622 A Holiday Masquerade

Issue #1122 Just Say No To E

Issue #1549 20 Years A Workin'

There is a good thread on Easter Eggs here at viewtopic.php?p=37445366#p37445366
All issues can be viewed at: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&sid=fb21ee1ada18959d4beb2c1cbaacf0e7


#077: World To End, Or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary {One Year Anniversary issue, now an Easter Egg bonus}
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#077

The Issue
Along with the rest of the world, the citizens of @@Name@@ have been stunned by the revelation of a small team of geophysical philosophers that the world turns exactly one year old today, as measured by what they call "RL units". (Congratulations on finding so many easter eggs. As a reward, here is the special issue our players got when NationStates turned one year old.)

The Debate
1. "Frankly, I saw this coming -- all the signs of the Apocalypse are here," says local community leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Moral standards are falling, the government is making increasingly erratic decisions, and people are neglecting their work to play bizarre political simulation games on the internet. There's only one sensible reaction: declaring a state of emergency, sending out the military, and shooting curfew breakers until the crisis is over."

2. "With respect, I don't think falling moral standards are the problem," says cubicle dweller and Slashdot karma god @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The issue is what's going to happen to our computers if the world clock ticks over from 0 to 1. This Y1 problem, as I call it, could be devastating for our IT industry unless it's tackled swiftly. And by tackled swiftly, I mean given a massive injection of public money."

3. "Why panic when you should be partying?" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, not completely soberly. "It's the first birthday of the world, man -- let people go nuts! If the government has a shred of decency, they'll order the cops to back off and let people really enjoy this incredible moment in history."

4. "This is neither a time for clamping down, nor, as they say, going off," says religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Rather, we should encourage people to reflect on the great mysteries of life. For example, what is God, to each of us? What is the true meaning of faith? And is the world around us reality, or are we instead living inside a simulated reality that exists only for the amusement of beings we cannot even imagine?"

5. "Well, I know what I'll be doing," says obscure author and Perl amateur Max Barry. "Sitting at home with a good book! Jennifer Government, for instance, is a cracking read. And I hear that some of the profits go into maintaining a cool web game. But of course, that's just my opinion. People should celebrate however they want."

The Issue preamble strongly suggests that you will get this issue when you have already acquired a certain number of Easter Eggs... believed to be 3 in number and results in the award of the banner showing four coloured Easter Eggs. This issue was originally received when your nation had achieved its 1st Anniversary in NS, including the time spent in Vacation Mode

1. Tens of thousands of revelers have been arrested for trying to celebrate the recent world anniversary.
2. Over-inflated fears of a "Y1" bug have turned humble IT workers into millionaires.
3. The nation is cleaning up after a national night of celebration left most people with headaches and dim memories.
4. Residents firmly believe there is no spoon.
5. Citizens are bleary-eyed after staying up all night with a good book.


#078: Easter Egg: Should We Pull The Lever? [Meddlers; ed:SalusaSecondus]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#078

The Issue
During the middle of the night, someone has mysteriously put a lever in the middle of the city park. On it, it says, "Pull the Lever, And See The World End."

The Debate.
1. "I've always wanted to see the apocalypse." says an elderly man on a park bench. "All that fire and brimstone. To see God's wrath. Something I can tell my grandchildren about later on. I say we should."

2. "Not on your life!" says his wife sitting next to him. "If you pull that lever, we'll have no grandchildren, no life, only heaven and hell. Don't you dare pull that lever."

3. "Now, don't think of it as a do/don't option," says a hot dog vendor. "What if we give tours so that people can see the lever? Not to touch it of course, but to see that humanity can be ruined by such a contraption. We can make a profit."

Put "Holy" in Nation's Pre-title


1. Thousands of cute furry kittens are trampling everything in their path.
2. A doomsday device lays untouched in a public park.
3. There is now a private sector based on doomsday devices.


#080: Easter Egg: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement [Exiled; ed:SalusaSecondus]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#080

The Issue
Aliens have landed in the fields of @@Name@@ and they wish to trade and have peace.

The Debate.
1. "Take us to your kneader!" says @@RANDOMNAME_REVERSED@@, alien lawyer. "We have heard wonders of @Name@@'s pizza, and must have it. We are certain that a valuable trade route can be set up between our peoples. You could have our first born, for example." Your Secretary of Trade is shocked, "First Born?! That's slavery!" but quickly calms down upon discovery that their young are considered a great delicacy there. "You know, maybe we should open up trade with them?"

2. The Coalition of No ETs wants you to stay out of this. @@RANDOMNAME@@ says "Them darn aliens thingies are going to take advantage of the situation an kill us all! You must ban all trade with them. If they want my cattle, it will be over my dead body!"

You have to have the "Cow" as your national animal or have "Moo" as your national motto. In addition, you are awarded the banner "The Future is Near". Please note the reference to cattle in the 2nd Option - see below

1. Pizzerias often get delivery orders for Saturn and alien first born are considered a delicacy
2. Alien kidnapping of both cattle and humans are headline news on most respected newspapers


#215: Easter Egg: What's Your Favourite Colour? [Antioch and the East; ed:Sirocco]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#215

The Issue
During a national press conference, a little girl with ribbons in her hair asks you what your favourite colour is. Your panicked advisors have frantically called an emergency conference to come up with possible answers.

The Debate.
1. "Tell her it's red," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, sharing out the meeting's doughnut tray. "It'll show them that our nation has nowt to do with money grabbing capitalists."

2. "Tell her it's blue," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, who inexplicably appears to be sitting in a tin bath and playing with a rubber duck. "Blue like the open ocean - it will show our devotion to all things marine. Quack."

3. "Tell her it's yellow," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, embracing you warmly and giving you a soppy kiss. "It is such a shining, bright, happy colour. It will fill your citizens with such joy to hear it is your favourite."

4. "Tell her it's green," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, while caressing what appears to be a cabbage. "It'll draw attention to your benevolent environmental policy!"

5. "Tell her it's orange," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, running a lap around the conference room. "Such a vibrant colour I've always felt! I'm sure if officially approved it will put some vim and vigour in the people!"

6. "Tell her it's purple," advises Roger Jefferson, relishing his own gourmet doughnut sprinkled with shredded truffles. "It speaks of the finer things in life, of luxury, and shows you as a man of distinction. Not like the riff-raff you see around these days..."

7. "Tell her it's pink," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, your premier expert on all things gay. "It will send a message that we here in @Name@@ are not prejudiced against homosexuals and accept them with open arms."

8. "Tell her it's gold," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, hands rubbing together in avaricious delight. "Give the people a hint that you'll be focusing on the economy!"

9. "Tell her it's black," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, ripping up pictures of kittens and scowling. "Black like the eternal emptiness of our withered, stilted, and twisted souls."

10. "Tell her it's white," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, reclining in the lotus position. "It is a pure, peaceful colour, befitting the moral stance your government should embrace!"

11. "Tell her it's grey," advises @@RANDOMNAME@@, who is decidedly nondescript. "It's nice and neutral, won't upset anyone. Speaks of proper military bearing and protocol. People will like that."

12. "Tell her you don't have a favourite colour," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the president of Open Our Perimeters Straightaway, on walking in. "@Name@@ is a modern country that does not discriminate between colours. We should allow everyone whether they be Bigtopian, Lilliputian, or Maxtopian into our bountiful nation."

Put any of the colours: Red, Blue, Yellow, Green, Orange, Purple, Pink, Gold, Black, White, or Grey in your Nation's Pre-title

1-11. The nation's favourite colour is the color of Option chosen i.e. 1=red, 2=blue, 3=yellow, 4=green, 5=orange, 6=purple, 7=pink, 8=gold, 9=black. 10=white, or 11=gray.
12. The nation loves all colours indiscriminately


#223: Easter Egg: Zombie Attack! [Naliitr; ed:Sirocco]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#223

The Issue
The dead are rising from their graves to feast on the flesh of the living! Currently, only @@ANIMAL@@ City has been affected. An immediate quarantine has been placed on the city, but with time running out for the survivors an emergency meeting has been called to decide what to do.

The Debate.
1. "You have to destroy the city!" gasps @@RANDOMNAME@@, one of the few who escaped before the quarantine. It's hell in there! If those things manage to escape then the whole country, nay the whole WORLD is doomed! We must send our biggest bombs into those streets and wipe them out!"

2. "No, there are people in there who need our help," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, armed with a Winchester rifle. "We can't leave them to the mercy of the undead hordes. I say before we blow anything up we call in the army and anyone else willing to help, go in, track down any survivors we can find, and get them out. It's dangerous, but it's got to be done."

3. "I think we should study these creatures," muses Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, expert in biological warfare. "Zombiism? Reanimated dead tissue? Fascinating! This is a golden opportunity for our nation... why, we could unleash these on our enemies! Everyone would shake in terror of our undead army!"

4. "Wow, these unholy terrors are really scary," notes @@RANDOMNAME@@, selling sausages in buns to bystanders. "They would make a great honey pot. I mean, how often do you see the living dead?! We could really turn a profit if we turn this place into a first-class thrill ride for visiting tourists. Want mustard?"

5. "I think we're forgetting that these 'zombies' are people just like you and me!" objects @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the newly-formed Undead Protection Alliance. "They deserve the respect that any deceased person should, if not more! Leave them alone, and let them have the city. It will be a victory for oppressed minorities everywhere!"

6. "Braaains... braaains...?" asks ardent anti-quarantine activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Braaains... braaains... braaains!"

Originally thought to have a possible association with the annual Halloween Zombie event or awarded after a nation has Ceased to Exist (CTE) and subsequently restored. The timing of the Easter Egg award after restoration seemed to vary from a few days to weeks or months. A more certain way to receive this egg is to have the word "Brains" in either/both of your Motto and Currency setting fields. Another option is to have the word "Zombie" in your pre-title.

1. The nation has a strict 'no marauding undead' law.
2. Volunteers are signing up to take arms against an incursion of flesh-eating zombies.
3. International organisations everywhere are united in their condemnation of the nation's zombified military.
4. The flesh-eating lost souls that wander at night serve as a major tourist attraction.
5. The undead are an officially recognised ethnic minority.
6. The undead roam the streets and countryside at night.


#256: Easter Egg: Suburbs Are Out Of This World [Scolopendra; ed:Sirocco]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#256

The Issue
High crime rates have made the inner cities of @Name@@'s largest conurbations increasingly dangerous and undesirable places to live. The mass exodus of the middle class from city centers has escalated to the extent that the suburbs and exurbs of major cities are beginning to collide, leaving no land for expansion. In response, a group of well-to-do soccer moms are petitioning the government for funds to establish white-collar living space... on the Moon.

The Debate.
1. "Crime is perpetually increasing," says Chastity Elizabeth Prescott as she adjusts the sweater tied like a cape over her shoulders. "Just yesterday my little John Alexander Stuart's after-school Bigtopianese tutor was attacked by a gang of hoodlums! Our children deserve safe housing and exactly manicured lawns no greater than two inches in grass blade height! With a sufficient colonization effort, we can commute from communities on the Moon to the industries in our big cities. You must support this--think of the children!"

2. "Rockets?!" shrieks noted bleeding heart Sunflower Earthchild Starbeam, pulling her knit cap more closely over her ears. "Think of the pollution, and the danger! What if there's an accident? This cockamamie scheme must clearly be banned! And you thought cars were bad- wait! Cars ARE bad!"

3. "Everyone knows urban blight is caused by the flight of capital to the suburbs and exurbs," notes the prominent left-wing economist Engelbert Pinquo. "Running away to the Moon will solve nothing. Capital, and those who have it, must be brought back to the inner city... by force if need be."

4. "Stone the crows! We're trapped between hippies, communists and soccer moms," grumbles Vice Admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We need breathing room, and everyone knows there ain't no air on the Moon! So let's get it the old-fashioned way - by invading our neighbors! @@REGION@@ will fall to the might of @Name@@!"

The parameters for receiving this issue are not confirmed but are thought to be having a major/all-pervasive youth-related crime problem and the police force having serious issues coping with it.

1. The entire country is an urban wasteland as the well-to-do commute from space
2. White-collar unemployment skyrockets as the suburbs are not within bicycling distance to work
3. White-collar workers and their families are rounded up by the military and forced to relocate to the inner city
4. The country is constantly under siege trying to protect soccer moms who've settled in occupied territory


#266: Breaching the Great Fourth Wall of @@Name [Reploid Productions; ed:Reploid Productions]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#266

The Issue
After the recent eXtra-Kinetocam Cartographic Digital satellite survey revealed that @Name@@ is a surprisingly tiny section of land on a peninsula of a much larger continent, expeditions sent to explore these new lands have found a wide assortment other landmasses- all with new cultures and foreign civilizations. Of course, now people are wondering what to do with... or about... their newly-discovered neighbors.

The Debate
1. "Isn't it obvious? We must establish contact and trade with these other countries!" the CEO of one of the major mining companies notes happily, gesturing toward the XKCD survey map with a laser pointer. "The land claimed by Stalclaft is noted to contain a particular gaseous resource that could prove profitable for us! Never mind the report also says that the place is a war zone!"

2. "Are you insane? We're completely and totally vulnerable to attack!" declares General @@RANDOMNAME@@ while flailing at the new world map in a dramatic fashion. "We know nothing about these civilizations, what their intentions are, what they're capable of! Look at how massive that Cea-Dicee is, just to the south of us! What little we do know about them implies that they have SPACESHIPS! We need to strengthen our military to protect against these threats at all costs!"

3. "Don't mind the paranoid ravings of the General there." Noted scholar @@RANDOMNAME@@ states calmly while tapping a spot on the map just offshore to the northeast of the peninsula. "We're simply expanding our understanding of the world and where we fit in it. The report says that the ancient ruins of Subspais are on the seafloor here, and I think it would be a most worthy endeavor to study them. It won't be cheap, but knowledge is the greatest resource we can have! As the saying goes, knowledge is power!"

4. "This hippie professor doesn't get it." Admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@ scoffs. "We have an opportunity here! For instance, this island of Uoeq to the west of us. They'd never see us coming; after establishing forward bases there, we could easily begin a campaign against Cea-Dicee and take their land and technology for ourselves! With that turned into a colony of @Name@@, the island of Sekonlif would fall easily, and we could seize Stalclaft's precious gas. Just imagine, eventually the entire continent could be under our control... or rather, YOUR control."

5. "Don't believe these lies for a minute!" Notorious and arguably very crazy conspiracy theorist @@RANDOMNAME@@ quickly unrolls a chart over the XKCD survey map before giving you what looks like a hat made of tinfoil. "These 'new lands' are all part of a conspiracy by the evil alien Bunny-Knights of Violet! I have evidence here that proves that these bunnies from space want us to THINK there are lands beyond what we already know. It's quite clear that this map is completely phony and that if we fall for it, we feed them our delicious mind-carrots! Forget this map of lies @@LEADER@@, for the sake of our mind-carrots!

Put "NationStates" or "nationstates" as your motto...

1. Trade is bringing a wide selection of strange resources and technologies into @@name@@ although importers have the highest mortality rate in the nation
2. The [Nation Initials]AF has poured billions of [National Currency] into anti-spaceship defenses to protect [Nation] against outsiders
3. Several universities in @@name@@ have assembled expensive research teams to explore and study new lands and old ruins
4. @@name@@ has begun an effort to aggressively conquer neighboring countries
5. In a bizarre move the government of @@name@@ has destroyed all information about a new world map in order to protect the nation's 'mind-carrots'


#375: Easter Egg: Keep Your Hands Off Those Lucky Charms! [Vile Island; ed:Sanctaria]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#375

The Issue
The sudden appearance of a bouquet of rainbows in the skies above @@CAPITAL@@ has bedazzled the city's natives. Initial investigations by amateur scientists have revealed the source of the phenomena to be a previously undiscovered ancient barrow just outside the city limits, apparently teeming with hoards of gold. Efforts to procure the gold, however, have been in vain, with rumours that mysterious men of a limited stature are mischievously playing tricks on would-be treasure hunters.

The Debate
1. "This is spectacular", squeals @@RANDOMNAME@@, presenter of popular entertainment show 'Us Nightly'. "All this GOLD for FREE! I can think of a thousand ways to spend it all. So what if there are a few weird dwarves - we could use all of this gold to fund the national budget! Let's blow that ditch to hell, grab the loot, and go on a shopping spree!"

2. "Gold? Dwarves? Rainbows? This is a travesty!" decrees @@RANDOMNAME@@, an infamous mendicant preacher who wandered into a live report on the lunchtime news. "These are no mere dwarves - these are leprechauns; demons sent here to deceive us! They are wicked, sinful tricksters, who have become manifest because of our tolerance of ancient pagan burial grounds on our sacred and holy lands. We must purge these abominations and destroy all that which is connected to this Plague; the leprechauns, their evil gold, and that unholy barrow!"

3. "Top o' the morning to you laddie!" says Patrick O'Malley, a twinkly-eyed leprechaun, all clad in green. "Ara, let's not be talking about blowing up this and blowing up that. Sure we'd just love to be friends, you and I and us. Now look a chara, how's about we come to a wee deal, aye? We'll swap some of our lucky Irish gold for a couple o'drops to drink. We do be dying of the thirst and wouldn't say no to an aul whiskey or two ... dozen. Just between us, mind! Our wee secret."

Try putting the descriptor "Gold" or "Golden" as part of your currency, or Lucky in your pre-title and Motto :) Probably only available in March and especially around St Patrick's Day, the 17th March.

1. The nation's gold reserves are said to be over the rainbow.
2. Rainbows have been replaced by gloomy rain clouds as a result of the mass burning of leprechauns.
3. Drunk leprechauns pelt countryside ramblers with gold coins.


#408: Easter Egg: Pony Peril [Sedgelight Sparkle; ed:Sedgistan]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#408

The Issue
A revolution in Maxtopia in which the state was taken over by brightly coloured, anthropomorphic magical ponies, has made the government aware of the threat posed by ponyists in @@NAME@@.

The Debate
1. "It's clear what we must do" bellows @@RANDOMNAME@@, four-star General in the @@NAME@@ Armed Forces. "These creatures, cute though they are, would seek to undermine our way of life, and threaten our very existence. This infestation cannot continue! We must round up all the ponies in @@NAME@@, execute them, and leave their carcasses to the crows."

2. "What a waste" interjects adhesives magnate @@RANDOMMALENAME@@, rubbing his hands with glee. "These ponies are one of the great resources of @@NAME@@. It's simple. Just slaughter them, dismember their corpses, and boil them down into glue. Our industry will be the envy of @@REGION@@."

3. "Don't you think they're both overreacting?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, owner of @@DEMONYM@@ Salt Co. "These ponies are dangerous, but we must show some compassion when dealing with them. Instead of killing them, do the humane thing and force them into slavery. In fact, why not make it compulsory for @@DEMONYMPLURAL@@ to travel everywhere by pony?"

4. Psychiatrist @@RANDOMNAME@@ implores you to see sense. "These poor creatures aren't actual ponies. They're misguided, delusional humans, wearing silly costumes. We must help them. A dose of electrotherapy should fix their warped minds, and any deviants who aren't cured can be lobotomised."

Here's a little clue... I know we are talking about magical ponies, but a horse is a man's best ...?... add a nautical vessel and place it in your Nation's motto :)

1. Ponies are brutally murdered before being left to rot.
2. Pony-dried products are greasing the wheels of industry.
3. Ponies working in the nation's salt mines have a life expectancy of weeks.
4. Young girls who ask their parents for a pony are routinely lobotomised.


#430: Easter Egg: Please, Sir, We Want Some More Issues [Eta Carinae; ed:Luna Amore]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#430

The Issue
With the same old dilemmas confronting @Name@@ time and time again, people are demanding to know why there aren't more genuinely new issues.

The Debate

1. "Well, that's because they're all twaddle,” says [violet] matter-of-factly while twirling a lighter in her hands. "I'm sick and tired of reading that garbage. I've decided to scrap the player-submitted system -- but don't tell anyone that. The endless waves of hate mail would overwhelm the server."

2. "The aim of this site is to promote my novel, not the writing talents of literary wannabes," scoffs Max Barry while sipping an iced-Margarita on a yacht in the South Pacific. "I've ordered the mods to only approve mediocre issues to ensure that no one discovers there are better writers out there than me."

3. "I've been combing through the queue, carefully examining each draft and determining its potential," sighs Sedgistan who is sitting next to an orderly stack of drafts stamped 'no way in hell'. "I'm confronted with thousands upon thousands of issues. I have to manage multiple editors and somehow still place in the Mod Olympics. Do you have any idea how much stress that puts on me? That's why it takes so long. Stop breathing down my neck. If you want to be useful, go help out the newbies in Got Issues."

4. "Huh? What's that?" says Sanctaria absentmindedly, looking up from an intimidating series of flow charts. "More issues? Well, it's your lucky day! I'm working on my next great chain. It will dwarf my last one in size and complexity. Forget everything you know about issues, every rule you think we can't break, because this chain is going to break them all."

5. "I couldn't agree with this more!" yelps Comrade Lenyo, his arms full of drafts. "We've received over 6,000 submissions! If we just got rid of the delete button, that'd be over 6,000 more issues. Who doesn't want that? Why are we still wasting time talking about this? Why are you reading this instead of submitting more drafts for us to add? EVERY. SECOND. COUNTS!"

6. The deafening Voice of Mod booms down from the heavens, "You will receive new issues when you receive new issues. Your questioning is undermining the authority of the mods. I've deleted enough nations to know flaming when I read it. You have been warned."

Possibly your nation has to have answered at least 250 to 300 Daily Issues and have your Setting for Issues at "No throttle" and answering them all!

1. Player submitted issues are printed just so they can be burned by [violet].
2. It is universally agreed that the first 31 issues are the only ones with humor and charm.
3. Aspiring authors begrudgingly help proofread issue submissions.
4. Players panic as they discover the newest chain can reset their populations and even delete their nations.
5. Common misteaks slip threw as the Issues Editing Team adds issues by the hundread. {Note by Medio: the spelling mistakes are DELIBERATE}
6. Red text rains down on the head of anyone who dares to step out of line.

In addition, you receive the banner Platform for Expansion:


#471: Easter Egg: Red Sleigh Down [Nation of Quebec; ed: Sanctaria]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88#471

The Issue
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through your house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. When out in the lawn, there arose such a clatter! You sprang from your bed, to see what was the matter. Away to your window, you ran like a flash, tore open the shutters, and threw back the sash. When what to thy wondering eyes did appear? Your advisers had gathered, some smelling like beer. They were shouting and arguing, filling the night with their cries; they were speaking of an emergency, that was happening high in @Name@@'s skies.

The Debate
1. "We have an unidentified flying object violating our air space!" pants your Aviation Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@, turning a shade of purple, clearly out of breath from running all the way to your house. "It's not responding to our hails - you know, I don't think it even has a radio. We've issued numerous warnings to turn back too. This could be an armed drone, or some drunk yuppie, but I don't care what it is - the moment it crossed our borders, it became a security risk! I highly recommend that you allow us to shoot this terrorist down."

2. "Don'tcha know that you're talking 'bout Santa Clauseee!" slurs concerned parent @@RANDOMNAME@@, stinking to high heaven of sherry. "D'yareallywant t'shoot down Santa in front of the innocent eyes of @@DEMONYMADJECTIVE@@ childers? Do you really want to kill the Christmas spirits? Let the flying thing come in. It's Santa Clauseee! The childer of @Name@@ will - *hiccup* - thank you for it."

3. "I think there's an easier way to ensure security but doesn't ruin the holidays," muses your partner, also awoken by the commotion outside. "Just like any visitor to @Name@@, make Santa go through all the necessary hoops. Visas, taxes for his imported goods, and those flying reindeer of his probably have rabies and should definitely be quarantined. Santa might not appreciate being strip-searched, but hey, that's the price of security."

4. "Are we forgetting that Santa Claus is a wanted criminal in @Name@@?" asks overzealous police officer @@RANDOMNAME@@, brandishing a picture of Santa's mug shot. "The guy has literally countless breaking and entering, looting, and animal cruelty charges against him. Let's also not forget the hundreds of elves he's enslaving all year round. For all we know his so-called "gifts" are nothing more than anthrax-laced candy. And I hear his reindeer shoot lasers from their eyes! We must stop this threat before it's too late. Then he can face the full wrath of @Name@@'s justice system!"

5. "Are we really taking this Saaanta thing this seriously?" yawns your teenage, social justice warrior daughter. "I hate to be the one to say this, but Santa isn't real. He was invented by the Seppsi soda company to deceive little children and boost their sales. If you really want to get into the spirit of the season, you should be less of a scrooge and spend more on social welfare, combating homelessness, and reducing the poverty levels. It's easy to do, especially if you order every working citizen to forfeit most of their month's salary in tax. Sure they won't be able to afford loads of toys, but Christmas is way too commercialized now anyway. The poor and homeless need money more than I need another Max Barry doll."

6. "Not real, you say?" questions a large, jolly man sporting a white beard, red hat, and thick boots who just slid down your chimney. "I can assure you that I'm the genuine article! Now all of this talk about shooting down my sleigh only proves what I've long suspected - @Name@@ has been very, very naughty. Why, your crime rates are so high it sent my Naughty or Nice Detector haywire! Your unfeeling ways has killed your Christmas spirit. I'm afraid that you are all on my naughty list and will get no presents this year - only coal. Ho, ho, ho!"

Only available during November, December, and January. Try some Christmas-associated Item in Nation's Pre-title or other Settings... like maybe: Santa, Rudolph, Sleigh, Candy Cane, Reindeer, Elf, Jolly, or Christmas...? Try your luck!

1. Children across @@NAME@@ are mourning the loss of Santa Claus after the military shot down his sleigh.
2. The government is lax about national security during the Christmas period.
3. Rudolph has been put down after fears he had foot-and-mouth disease.
4. Santa is trading presents for smokes while awaiting sentencing for crimes against humanity.
5. Homeowners often burn Christmas trees just to stay warm.
6. Smog covers @@CAPITALCITY@@ as the populace burns record amounts of coal.


#622: Easter Egg: A Holiday Masquerade [The Grim Reaper; ed:Lenyo]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&start=25#622

The Issue
A group of @Name@@'s elite have put together a private party to celebrate the spooky holiday of Halloween in an abandoned and definitely not haunted house, which they got for almost nothing because of all the murders. You and some Ministers have managed to procure invitations, but there's one more question to address: what costume should you wear?

The Debate
1. "I made something perfect for you," enthuses your secretary, who was fired as an elementary school art teacher for having absolutely no artistic talent. "Minimalism is very in this year. I carefully trimmed a few holes in this white sheet for you and voilà: a ghost costume. It's classic, iconic even. And who could possibly be offended by someone wearing a white sheet?"

2. Your Environment Minister hops into the room in a plant-pot costume, and manages to get words out past the alcohol. "The other day, I saw a horror movie about a man who transformed into a half-@@ANIMAL@@ monster. The big twist was that it just wanted to be loved, just like I - er, we people do. Anyway, I've always thought you had a touch of animal magnetism about you. You could be the were-@@ANIMAL@@ that taught @Name@@ to love @@ANIMAL@@s as much as we love ourselves!"

3. "You really shouldn't drink so much," advises your geriatric and usually humorless Health Minister, who has made the shocking choice to dress as a sexy nurse. "If we're going to be sending a message to the public, it should be healthier lifestyle habits. You could wear a lab coat to the masquerade to announce an initiative promoting less alcohol for adults and fewer sweets for kids. Together we'll be the life of the party."

4. Your Minister of the Interior, dressed as a giant bat, steps out into the light before recoiling in horror. "Halloween is a chance to remind your fellow party-goers that you're always the one in charge. Plus, we could go as a pair - I as a bat, and you as a vampire! There's a nice cloak and some sharp canines your size in the wardrobe. Maybe we'll be able to trick, say, a dozen, two dozen potential dissidents to reveal something compromising."

5. Your Defense Minister marches into the room in full parade attire, shouting jovially. "@@SLOGAN@@! The new film Captain @Name@@ has seen recruitment numbers triple overnight! Do your part - @@LEADER@@ needs YOU! A nice shield, a big flag as a cape, you'll be a superhero in no time! Well, minus the abs."

6. "What a shame that no one here is celebrating our history," complains your Education Minister, whose knight in shining armor costume reflects an almost blinding amount of light. "This party is the perfect time for you to announce a new educational campaign to recognize the most patriotic moments in the saga of @Name@@. I'm sure you can dress up as one of our nation's more distinguished heroes for such an important occasion."

7. "You have very classical proportions," whispers a creepy stranger directly into your ear. "Frankly, you'd look good in whatever costume - or none at all, really. I bet you could find someone drunk enough to even turn it into a fashion line."

This one is linked to Halloween and you need to put something associated with this event in your Nation's Pre-title or National Animal! Things such as: Skeleton, Ghost, Witch, and Vampire have worked for me, but there are others to try out... for instance: Monster, Bat, Wombat, Zombie, Werewolf, and Ghoul! Some eggs have arrived 'out of season' in the past because of a software glitch (see Intro above).

1. [Nation Leader]'s pathetic costume is the butt of many jokes.
2. [Nation Leader] spends Halloween alternatively growling and howling.
3. [Nation Leader] bores party-goers with healthy tips and sugar-free snacks.
4. Costume parties are swarmed by plainclothes police officers in disguise.
5. [Nation Leader] now dresses in spandex to work.
6. No one appreciates [Nation Leader]'s costume of King Oswyn V.
7. A drunk fashion designer has started a fashion label themed on nudity and titled "[Nation Leader]'s New Clothes"


#1122: Easter Egg: Just Say No to E [Zwangzug; ed: Zwangzug]]
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=88&start=50#1122

The Issue
Today got off to a poor start. You had a plan to grab lunch with @@RANDOMNAME@@’s mayor, Anton Gadsby, to talk about important topics such as urban growth. But to your horror and shock, this man was tripping on XTC this morning, and by noon nobody could find him!

The Debate
1. “A tragic loss that shouldn’t occur in this fair city,” mourns doctor Cathy Gratwick, filing through Gadsby’s clinical history. “Politicians dosing too highly on drugs such as MDMA is not only a way to bring about a fatality, but also distracts you folks from your important work! As a policy wonk without flaws, you must stand up to this display by disavowing any kind of drugs.”

2. “I think you should know that my pop would focus on our town most of all,” sobs Gadsby’s son, Barry. “Don’t think about him so much as what you could do to honor him: continuing to build and maintain a thriving city. That is what brought about a proud spirit in Dad.”

3. “Oh, look, focusing on @@CAPITAL@@ again,” groans Patrick Picard, mayor of a tiny rural municipality. “Big woop. This big shot had it coming. Stop crying about him and start funding, in contrast, stuff that’s actually important. Such as, I don’t know, transportation to backwoods burgs.”

4. “You must call for a manhunt!” barks cop Harold Callahan, flashing a shiny star at you. “Our boss is too important an individual for us to abandon to who-knows-what shady mishap. But don’t worry, our policing can do this job. Or, as a backup plan, find his body anyway.”

It is thought that as the issue is a lipogram, ie, in this case it has no "e" or "E" in it apart from the title, and have to have no "E" or "e" in any of your custom fields. At this stage perhaps not all fields, but at least your nation's capital city should have no 'e" in it.

1. Anybody who is high on pot can't sit on a city council.
2. In [Nation] subways and skyways roar at all hours.
3. Out of work [Nation] inhabitants look for work in puny suburbs.
4. Usually [Nation Capital]'s roads fill up with shady cops patrolling at night.


#1549: Easter Egg: 20 Years A Workin' [Sanctaria, Pogaria, Verdant Haven, Zwangzug, Electrum, Gnejs, Candlewhisper Archive, Sedgistan, & Noahs Second Country; ed: Sanctaria]

The Issue
The clock chimes as you finally get home. Eleven bells. Is it really almost midnight? Your head is swimming from a day filled with inane meetings about park benches, how big supersize meals should be, and whether or not nuclear annihilation would really be a bad thing in the age of global warming (you figured it’d probably be fine, on balance). As you settle at your desk to finish a couple of pieces of correspondence, you realise you’ve been doing this thankless job for twenty years now. Twenty years! A cause for celebration indeed, so maybe you can spare a couple of minutes to take a break. Thus the masochist within you has decided that, to celebrate this anniversary, “unwinding” on NationStates before bed would be “fun”. There are so many things to do, though, and so little time — so what do you focus on?

The Debate
1. Ah, the General Assembly. The perfect place to go if you really want to waste time debating whether or not “shall” or “will” in a piece of legislation results in banning opposite-sex marriages, or potentially criminalising making your favourite horse a member of parliament. The friendly regulars, the welcoming Old Guard; they don’t exist in the General Assembly. It’s a free for all. It’s sink or swim, baby. Publish or perish. Only lawyers need apply. Or something to that effect. If you want to exert control over what is and isn’t legal in other nations, though, and mould a multiverse in the image of your own ideals, the General Assembly is exactly where you want to spend your time.

2. Then again, your trigger finger is itching to do some damage in International Incidents. First, you need to find a willing enemy. Then, you can demarcate the boundaries of bloodshed so no uninvited armies can interfere. And finally, you can test out those weapons of mass destruction that you’ve been eyeing in the shop fronts — only with your enemy’s permission, of course. [Demonym] aren’t monsters.

3. Thinking on it, though, who needs permission? There’s a whole world of regions out there, ripe for the taking. Even working alone, there’s plenty to be accomplished if you’re content to play the long game. A word in the right ear here, a polite request for an endorsement there, it’s all too easy playing a role — they’ll never suspect who you were until it is far too late. Now which region was it you’ve always wanted to take down?

4. Of course, if a thrill is what you’re after then there’s bound to be a Sports tournament you can sign up for. Unfortunately, that’s no guarantee of success; [Nation]’s athletes are at the mercy of fate! Maybe you should call upon the priestess Margaret to sacrifice 1093 rubber chickens to the random number of deities on your behalf. But you’d better move fast, because it’s almost cut off time!

5. That said, something inside has been gnawing at you. It has been a while. You look at the top of the page and see that you have five issues to address. The reason you first joined NationStates was to continue making decisions outside of work, even if those decisions had no real-world consequences. Except for those meaningless little golden badges on your page. Deep down in your heart of hearts, you know it’s time to answer issues on all of your puppets. After all, you’re just a primate who can’t help but to push buttons for a dopamine release.

6. You then remember that the United Federation Intelligence Agency recently published the latest version of its World Factbook, a widely used resource amongst foreign diplomats for information about the world’s nations. Much of the information it contained about [Region] was just plain wrong, and your own diplomats found themselves fielding dozens of calls asking if it was true that you had been replaced as leader by a [National Animal]. How much easier it is to set the record straight when you write your own factbooks! The stats are all wrong anyway — your words will tell the real story. If only somebody would read them.

7. Going to your Nation Page, you spot the little card icon staring back at you. Clicking it, you realise you have twenty-two copies of your own trading card. Perhaps this is a good time to add some variety to your collection — there are plenty of ongoing auctions, ready for you to swoop in at the last moment. All it takes is a nation, or fifty, to start sending you some gifts to sell. If you become wealthy enough, you can disguise your narcissism as altruism and stage a giveaway, or hoard a card that nobody will care about until you inflate its price to a ridiculous valuation. With every new pack comes the possibility of a legendary find...

8. The real treasure, however, is the hidden content. Do people even know about the NationStates Against Humanity minigame? Or the Challenge System? You should load up the secret URL and just wait an hour, or three, to see if anyone starts a game. Who cares if no one turns up? You’ll get that great feeling of knowing that you’re part of a special elite, a secret Illuminati privy to mysteries that the hoi polloi know nothing of.

9. Out of nowhere, you’re struck with the sort of idea that normally only occurs to one of your loopy cousins after indulging in a mix of self-prescribed herbal remedies: what if you just bought the whole website? That Max Barry fellow certainly couldn’t object to a new swimming pool filled with cash, courtesy of your National Treasury. With NationStates under your personal control, the site could finally have an unending nuclear war! Zombie apocalypses that permanently affect your population! An IPO that actually earns you money! Maybe the admins could even bring back NationDates...

10. Seriously though, it’d be a terrible shame to waste all that money on a game where other people have the audacity to think their opinions matter — why, you’ve got literally all the answers to pressing real-life conundrums right here, inside of you! Indeed, people in general really should listen more to you. Wait, what is this? People in general arguing about left and right-wing extremism? Gun control? Opinions on capitalism and cancel culture? Oh, abortion! *knuckles crack* Yes, the world needs to hear from you on this.

11. Alas, the tyranny of choice is just exhausting. You had a long day, and you’ve spent so much time trying to decide what part of NationStates to play, it’s almost time for bed. So how about you roll up your sleeves, pour a drink, and then just chill in one of the spam game threads for five or ten minutes? Whether it’s pretending to be a brony, or calling the AN a talentless troubadour, sometimes reverting to childhood silliness is the best way to spend one’s time.

Your nation had to exist on the day of the 20th Anniversary of NationStates, i.e., the 12th November 2022. Furthermore, you only receive the Easter Egg on the second time you log in after that date but that second log-in can be any day thereafter!

1. The first half of cabinet meetings include [Nation Leader] complaining about the reasonable nation theory.
2: The Laws of War require "enthusiastic consent".
3: [Nation Leader] is plotting to coup the Pacific.
4: The Random Number Gods do play dice with the universe.
5: The only issue that [Nation Leader] has is that there aren't enough issues.
6: [Nation Leader] is emphatic that The Dotty Dodo's HDI is much higher than it seems.
7: [Nation Leader] is convinced that other nations can simply be "junked".
8: [Nation Leader] knows that some internet activities are strictly solitary.
9: [Nation Leader] hands out warnings to mods who don't deliver enough danishes.
10: [Nation Leader] is generally seen as a know-it-all.
11: [Nation Leader] has decreed that one must think of cheese upon reading the word mouse.


General Notes:

After you have found your:

1st Easter Egg you will receive an Easter Egg icon coloured Blue and the banner Link Oblong Secrets
2nd Easter Egg your Easter Egg icon will change to Green
3rd Easter Egg your Easter Egg icon will change to Brown
4th Easter Egg your Easter Egg icon will change to Gold and you will receive the banner Link Eggcellent Detective Work

Any additional Easter Eggs you find will NOT result in a change to your Easter Egg icon colour :(

Passing your cursor over your Easter Egg icon, once you have got your first Egg, will show you the number of Eggs you have, but NOT which ones... more's the pity!

Once you have received an Easter Egg Issue, ANY selection made from the options will still reward you with an Egg, so don't fret about failing to select the 'correct' option!

You may have to wait for only a few days to receive some Easter Eggs issues but for some you may have to wait for weeks, months, or maybe years even if you have provided the correct laying conditions! So, be patient...

P.S. Please do not broadcast the information on this site too widely... well done for finding it but I would like the site to be mainly for the dedicated Easter Egg Hunter!

Read dispatch


🌍 TourAdvisor

by The ambassadors reception

🌍 TourAdvisor is the searchable, crowd-sourced guide of places to go in NS.
Build the best browsable guide to the NS-verse by reviewing the places you've been, and the things that you've seen.

A typical review looks something like this:

🌍 TourAdvisor

The Embassy
🎟️ Activities
💚💚💚🖤🖤 (3)

The Embassy allows people to post TourAdvisor reviews of nations and regions, which is cool, but you're not allowed to be mean.

How to Post a Review

Post reviews on The Embassy RMB using the template below. As well as giving the posts a consistent look, this format makes the posts easily searchable.

[url=https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1355623][b]🌍 TourAdvisor[/b][/url]

[region]Place[/region]
[sub]Category
💚💚💚🖤🖤 (3)[/sub]

Text reviewing the place and justifying the rating.

Ratings should be from 1 to 5 green hearts. Always include 5 hearts, green ones on the left, black on the right. Write the number of green hearts in brackets beside the heart emojis.

The category name (including emoji) should be one of the six below.

Region Categories

🗳️ Government
📖 WFE
👫 Community
🎟️ Activities

Nation Categories

📗 Dispatches
🃏 Cards

Use [URL] tags to include a link to the dispatch or card collection in the text, eg:

[url=https://www.nationstates.net/page=deck/collection=6940]a card collection[/url]

Posting Dos and Don'ts

* Do post reviews from the point of view of a visitor.
* Please don't post reviews of your own nations.
* If you are an RO, please don't post a review of your own region.

TourAdvisor is supposed to be fun.
We have an RMB rule, "Don't post poorly about other nations or regions". That still applies here. Don't post a review about someone you have fallen out with.

How to Search Reviews

Find reviews on The Embassy RMB by using the search function. For example, this search for

TourAdvisor Activities (4 | 5)
returns TourAdvisor reviews with category "Activities" that are rated 4 or 5 hearts. An equivalent search using emojis would be

🌍 🎟️ 💚💚💚💚

This second search works because there is a series of four green hearts in both the four- and five-heart reviews.

There's more info on how to search RMBs here.

Read dispatch

Dorab

Edited:

RawReport