by Max Barry

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by The Not Kenneth Branagh of Western Fardelshufflestein. . 19 reads.

Alastair the Drunkard

Alastair the Drunkard
By Santa Selena

A 1, a 2, a 1 2 3 GO!

What do I see in my mirror, someone stumbling around could it be Alastair. You've been drinking all year long, doing nothing but reading Hamlet. You gotta retry your life, as this stupidity will do nothing to help. You've just been a potato sack, eating cheddar along with beer, doing nothing cause it's what you do. Soon it'll catch up to you as you don't see the bad side to alcohol. But you'll never read this ,cause you're a DRRRRUUNNNKKKKKAAAAARRRDDDDD! DDRRRRRRUUUUUUNNKKKKAAARRRD. DRRRRUUUNNNKKKAAARRDDD! DRRUUUUUNNNKKKAAARRRRRRDDDDDDD!! Oh you're just a little idiot, drinking problems left and right. You're just keep gobbling up all the cheese and drink when you got cirrhosis. You just have to be doing nothing, but drinking away all of your problems. But now they've caught up and you're stuck with the consequences! DRRRRUUUUUNNNKKAAAAAARRRRDDDD! DRRRRRUUUUUUUUUNNNKKARRRDDD (Oh you're just a drunk king). DDDRRRRUUUUUNNNNKKKKAAAAARRRDDDDDD. DRRRUUNNKKAAARRDDD (Oh this is just stupid). Look at this, look at yourself, you've become a sucker. You cried and drunk over your father. But that won't change anything at all, unless you really wanna join Alastair the III. DRRUUUUUNNKKKKKKAARRRRDDDD. DDDDDRRRUUUUNNNNKKKAARRRDDD (You got sepsis). DDDDRRUUUNNKKKARRRD. DDDDRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNKKKKKAAAARRRRRDDD (You just destroyed your liver)!