I realize there’s a lot of things about me people don’t know, and there’s certain things that you need to know, to avoid awkward conversations, or aggressive discourse with me. So, hi, this is a disclosure for people who talk to me over discord, the forums, and telegrams.
Anyway, I have what you call “generalized anxiety disorder”, which I’ll refer to as GAD as it’s tiring to have to read it and type it over and over. What this means is that I’ll tend to give up on things simply because of worry and stress. There are many things I care about, and the more I do, the more worry and stress builds up, and the more likely I am to give everything up.
Now that I know that I have GAD (and I’m not simply “nerbiyoso” or “mahiyain”), and have acknowledged it, I could sort of control it. Of course, if I had everything under control, I wouldn’t be typing this right now. So basically, I’ll have to take a break from time to time. If you’ve lost contact from me for a while, it doesn’t mean I am tired of working or talking with you. In fact, it means I don’t want to explode and lose our mutuality for worrying too much.
So, pink. It’s a color, which if you’ve seen me around enough, you’d know I use to a great extent. First, you’d have to know my brother has autism. I’d go into more detail on his condition, but I really don’t need to. I love my brother very much, and a color he has often felt comfortable with is pink.
Being younger than my brother, I’ve naturally taken his choices into account (at least when I was younger, and many things could have influenced my decisions). This would be why I have had an appreciation for the comforting qualities of lighter shades of pink, and why I use it everywhere.
Or anyone else for that matter! On one hand, it ruins my mood, and I end up projecting, and saying hurtful stuff to others. On another, I could get really hurt, accept it, and leave, which might be satisfying for you, but that makes you a jerk.
Like most people, I can’t deal with too much stuff going on at the same time. Except, there are extensive emotional risks in pushing me to finish something, or constantly reminding me not to do something. I deal with many things IRL, and pressuring me into answering your questions, which you’ve tailored to be hard or mean, does not help me at all. Again, it may be satisfying for you, but that makes you a jerk.
Thank you for reading this, and (hopefully) taking it into consideration. If you have any more questions, regarding my condition, or simply how to deal with anxiety, please send me a TG or a DM to notchris#9754, and I will try to answer you.