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DispatchBulletinOpinion

by Emojitheft. . 23 reads.

Information for Voters: Commend Kelssek

Commend Kelssek
Information for Voters

Summary

Commend Kelssek seeks to recognize the nominee for their extensive contributions to General Assembly and United Nations resolution authorship, the lawful government of The East Pacific, and for participation in and hosting of NS Sports role playing events.

Analysis

The at-vote resolution does a good job demonstrating that Kelssek has a significant breadth of accomplishments that could likely be put into a well-written Commendation but does not itself craft a narrative or do explanation of how Kelssek's contributions are actually Commendable. More than almost any proposal in recent memory, Commend Kelssek reads a lot like a list of accomplishments, but worse than past proposals Commend Kelssek does not even seek to place the listed accomplishments in context.

This criticism is most poignant in the closing section of the proposal ("Accentuating" and "Saluting") about Kelssek's contributions to the lawful Concordat government of The East Pacific, with which Refugia shares an embassy. While it is likely that Kelssek did Commendable work in the list of roles provided in the resolution, none of this information or detail is provided by the text of the Commendation itself. The proposal leaves the reader wondering what role Kelssek played in framing the Concordat, what their legislative contributions were as Provost of the Magisterium, which issues they resolved successfully as an Arbiter in the Conclave, or which coups or regional crises they helped mediate as Vizier.

Other clauses of the proposal have similar flaws, although the extent is less so. At the very end of the proposal (in the "Noting" clause), the reader is left to wonder what the significance of mediating the Listonian conflict and the Krechzianko-Vladistock War was. The Recognizing clause lists UN and GA resolutions which Kelssek authored and provides a brief description but does not explain the broader significance of these specific resolutions, or even of GA and UN resolution authorship more broadly. The "Impressed", "Recalling", and "Celebrating" clauses note Kelssek's successes in different role played sporting events, but do not explain why high placement in sports events are a Commendable accomplishment. These clauses could be substantially reduced, or eliminated entirely, to make space for better explanation of other contributions.

The best writing within the proposal relates to the hosting of the World Cup and Olympic Games, where the "Affirming" and "Asserting" clauses do a good job explaining the international significance and prestige of each of these events. This is the kind of detail the author should impart upon other sections of the proposal. The author could free up space for this by consolidating some of the bullet pointed lists used in this section of the proposal and instead using lengthier full-sentence clauses.

Recommendation

While the text of the resolution demonstrates substantial research, it in general demonstrates sloppy narrative building in all sections except those about hosting the World Cup and Olympic Games. Accordingly, the Refugia Security Council Correspondent to the Councillor of WA Affairs recommends a vote against Commend Kelssek and encourages the authors to revise the resolution to provide greater narrative context for the nominees contributions before resubmitting.


Emojitheft

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