Clinton Aide 1: Here's everything to prepare you for the debates, ma'am. Just try and stay focused no matter what your opponent says.

Clinton Aide 2: Don't let him rattle you. He's gonna do whatever he can to try and mess with your head. Don't buy into it. Whatever he says, just respond with "My opponent is a liar, and he cannot be trusted."

Hillary Clinton: Got it.

[The Presidential Debate]

Announcer: Decision 2016. The first Presidential debate, with moderator Lester Holt.

Lester Holt: Okay, let's get right into it. Our first question is for you, sir. How will you deal with ground troops in Syria?

Herbert Garrison: Everyone, I need to just speak from the heart here. Uhm, I don't know what the f- I'm doing. I've gotta come clean. Uh, I had no idea I would get this far,

[Lester Holt looks confused]

but the fact of the matter is, I should not be President. Okay?

[Clinton's aides watch from a back room]

I will f- this country up beyond repair.

[Clinton's aides smile at this admission]

I'm a sick, angry little man. Please, if you care at all about the future of our country, vote for her. Okay? She's the one who at least has some experience. She, she's not as bad as you think, I promise. And unlike me, she's actually capable of running this country.

Hillary Clinton: ...My opponent is a liar and he cannot be trusted.

Clinton Aide 1: NOOO!

Clinton Aide 2: Oh my God, she's such a turd sandwich.

Hillary Clinton: What he is saying is simply not true. Do not... believe it.

Herbert Garrison: [throws his hands up and then faces Clinton]

I am giving you this, lady. I AM GIVING you this! What the f- are you doing?!

[faces the audience again]

Okay, look, look, just, vote for her, she... she knows politics. She really wants to put this country first.

Hillary Clinton: My opponent is a liar-

Herbert Garrison: Would you just please shut up?

Hillary Clinton: -And he cannot be-

Herbert Garrison: Get out of your own way.

Hillary Clinton: -cannot be trusted.

Herbert Garrison: [in exasperation]

Okay, okay, look.

[stands up again]

She doesn't mean what she's saying. She just doesn't know how to take this because... it's very weird and her advisers probably t-

Hillary Clinton: My opponent is a liar and he cannot be trusted.

[as she says this, he throws his hands up and turns his back to the camera]

Herbert Garrison: F-, oh f-, why the f- does it have to be her? I am so f-.