Saint Cinders Farming and Ranching Chickporation

Welcome to Saint Cinders Farming and Ranching Chickporation. All of our Chickens are free-range, organic, gluten free, food-fed, and wild-caught that have been inbred in a lightless factory farms for countless generations. Come and visit our farm (no journalists allowed) where you can watch us proudly and passionately feed and breed with our Chickens.

We have all sorts of bawken clucken chickens on our ranch. From fire breathing monstrosities of an Irish Vandal Hen, to the most relatable chicks on this side of KFC, to this sweatered up Zukchiva that wears it for fashion. So classy!

Need a sassy chicken to critique your lifestyle? Will send you to the Inquisition no questions asked? might murder you in your sleep for no reason? We have a chicken for that.

Our merry band of staff consisting of convicts and sinners will happily if not mandatorily escort you too safely, and past our miniature dinosaurs who once hunted our ancestors mercilessly to the brink of extinction. (Some sacrifices may be implied)

Enjoy our favorite pastime of throwing senseless oats at Libertanny or riding our very own Volaworand for some family-friendly-power-tripping-fantasy. Admire our egg thin decor of security with some hen-housing architecture, and feel free to try and read through our many chickenscratch tours, as you dine yourself on one the world finest hogwash slops shops as we feed you like cattle.

Hello it's me, your favorite Pontiff. Did you miss me? Oh stawp that I know you do! Getting a divorce? Did you spam on the RMB? Want to take your arch rival to a place you know you will enjoy? Well might I humbly interest you in the latest-OH NO RED ALERT RED ALERT WE GOT A CLUCKER ON THE LOOSE!

Oh lawd he got legs! It's like Cinder's Jurassic Park all over again!

RUN YOU FOOLS RUN