by Max Barry

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by The Multiverse Threat of Orcuo. . 149 reads.

The Troublesome Trio

As I cast my curse upon the lands, one untouched area of my evil influence was Atlantic Central Command, an untapped gold mine of free influence, so, in order to deal with this, I sent my Troublesome Trio.

Only the worst of the worst of my minions, the absolute most vile of my lackeys & grunts, the utterly creepy creations I made with my long, Scandinavian, witch hands.

So prepare yourself for the unholy stooges that is…

The Troublesome Trio

The first of my warlocks to be sent is Lord Lucifer,

My ring leader, this disgusting monster came from the darkest corners of my mind, and as a random idea from a road-trip. This gruesome guard dog will seemly teleport out of nowhere, sneak behind you and give you the slap, before beating you up and taking your lunch money,
Your only chance of surviving Lord Lucifer is leaving cookies and fruit punch on the table, this will attract Lord Lucifer, once she’s distracted, take any TV Screen and shove Lord Lucifer in it. This will cause her to go visit her cousin while she’s there, giving you enough time to escape.

The second of my warlocks to be sent is Axis Of Evil,

Like the monster hiding under your bed, The Axis of Evil is lurking under you, consisting of only the worse counties in the world, Luxembourg, Denmark, East Korea, Serbia, And Of Course, The USA.

If you don’t watch your back, you might get annexed, your best solution to survive is dressing up as the one the The Axis Of Evil is scared of, Canadians, if you can do that, you may survive.

The third and final of my warlocks to be sent is Porn Nation,

Only the most vile of my creations, this one preforms the most horrible action, making pineapple pizza, there is no hope for surviving them.