by Max Barry

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DispatchFactbookMilitary

by The Environmental Protectorate of Steenia. . 269 reads.

Jed

Our military complex consists of Jed and his family. They have lived deep in the wilderness since his great-great-great grandparents said "Screw you all, we're going to annex ourselves!"
Jed shoots at anything that gets too close to his shack. Be they door to door salesmen, invading armies, flying squirrels, aliens or apparitions caused by the ingestion of too much moonshine.
Jed has three things working for him.
He is crazy.
He is a very good shot.
He has not seen a bath in such a long time he looks like part of the woods around him.

In the invasion of '93 Jed held off and eventually routed a full invading force before the people of Steenia even knew they were being invaded. As the invaders fled they found themselves lost in the endless foresty terrain. The invading army slowly died off due to a combination of wild animal attacks, sudden falls into ravines, drowning, poisonous insects and Jed thinking they might be coming back and shooting them for the hell of it.

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