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by The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine. . 6 reads.

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 September - October

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2017

September - October

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September 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14,742nd in the world and 451st in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,669 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
    • A government program is underway to revitalize Divine Cervine's beaches. #031
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #543
    • Angry crowds formed yesterday around government offices in Divine Cervine, demanding the reinstatement of free and fair elections. #125 dismissed
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September 2nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 29th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 27,310.11 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
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September 3rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 14,723rd in the world and 446th in Lazarus for Most Influential, scoring 1,673 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.
    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #573
    • Invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days. #493
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September 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 243rd in the world and 11th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 42.73 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #037
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Excellent to Superb.
    • The new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. #385
    • The government funds large training centres to turn purple fairy deer into functioning members of society. #133
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Urban Sprawl by reaching 5 billion citizens.

September 5th, 2017

    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #339
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #683
    • The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. #807

September 7th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 824th in the world and 22nd in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 13,936.27 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #813
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
    • Pro-democracy regime change has been avoided. #359
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September 8th, 2017

    • The government is giving peace a chance. #312
    • Park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. #749
    • While effusively praising Divine Cervine’s leadership and bowing repeatedly, a delegation has humbly requested that the government take a more “modernistic” view in the future. #011 dismissed

September 9th, 2017

    • Businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. #305
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #205

September 10th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 101st in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 96.29 Years.
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #342
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #062
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September 11th, 2017

    • The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341
    • Divine Cervine's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. #237
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #811

September 12th, 2017

    • Orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. #638
    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #207

September 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 116th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 9,793.39 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • A new generation of aquariumless hotels are being built under government supervision. #324
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #419
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #081
    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #462
    • Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #758

September 14th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 48th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 34,475.97 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police. #321
    • Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law. #338
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #633
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September 15th, 2017

    • Nude art is becoming wildly popular. #052
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598

September 16th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 9,743rd in the world and 466th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,085 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • The number of students attending university has reached a record high. #209
    • High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate. #504
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September 17th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 3,761st in the world and 157th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 214,337.65 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #773
    • Almost all of Divine Cervine's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #264
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #263
    • School children asked "what is two times two?" are likely to form a symposium to discuss how different answers make them feel. #668
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September 18th, 2017

    • Debates on whether toilet seats should be left up or down are increasingly commonplace. #538
    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #800
    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018
    • There's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. #138

September 19th, 2017

    • There's never enough space in space. #754

September 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 803rd in the world and 25th in Lazarus for Least Corrupt Governments, with 97.24 Percentage Of Bribes Refused.
    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #485
    • People seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy. #582
    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #525
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
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September 22nd, 2017

    • Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #719
    • Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #821
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. #373
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #701
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #659
    • Invading armies are given hard glares for their cheek. #244

September 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,498th in the world and 58th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,510.02 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #632
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September 24th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 25th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 27,410.65 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #756
    • Relations with Dΰguσ have warmed from frosty to chilly. #610
    • There are six more weeks of winter if a northerner sees her shadow. #733
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September 25th, 2017

    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #653
    • Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #732
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. #003

September 26th, 2017

    • Citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless. #251
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #600

September 27th, 2017

    • The newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat. #269
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Publishing Industry.
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #135
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #053
    • Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave. #304
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

September 28th, 2017

    • Members of majority races are forced out of their homes to make way for Bigtopians. #055 Increases Inclusiveness, Lowers Education, Welfare, Eco, Healthcare, Niceness, Cheer
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches. #540
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #670
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

September 29th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 258th in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Largest Governments, scoring 75.18 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.
    • The government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly. #644
    • Advertisements for jobs in the sciences run in fashion magazines. #548
    • A ban on unsolicited cold calling in all forms is in effect. #112
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September 30th, 2017

    • All beauty contests have been banned. #101
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • In a baffling press conference Queen Arbeaone proudly dismantled a broken door. #503
    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #830

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October 1st, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 719th in the world and 19th in Lazarus for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 14,441.68 on the Gilded Widget Scale.
    • Politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing. #289
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #198
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October 2nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,294th in the world and 302nd in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common. #709
    • The nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms. #226
    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #353
    • The government is using tax revenues to provide jobs for the poor. #255
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October 3rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 83rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 4,283.27 Tourists Per Hour.
    • Birth rates have hit an all-time low. #364
    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #589
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #556
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October 4th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,668th in the world and 266th in Lazarus for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring 24 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.
    • The nation is ravaged by daily union strikes. #016 DISMISS Increases Wealth Gaps, Decreases Average Income of Poor, Income Equality
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #164
    • Sex changes are routinely performed at Divine Cervine's hospitals. #066
    • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #834
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October 5th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,299th in the world and 302nd in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #276
    • Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #131
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October 6th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 115th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 9,787.04 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #275
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #557
    • Research grant proposals read like political diatribes. #523
    • The endangered saltwater humpback purple fairy deer is only seen in captivity programs. #547
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October 7th, 2017



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Popular Tourist Destination.
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Most Beautiful Environment.
    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1st in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespan.
    • An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. #218
    • Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #689
    • Serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk. #721
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #601
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October 8th, 2017

    • Youth call each other types of vegetables in lieu of government-banned racial insults. #767
    • Cub scouts are being asked to hand in their woggles as the state withdraws funding for scouting. #642
    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #431
    • Glamping Divine Deerlings won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. #706

October 9th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,863rd in the world and 159th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 370.14 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #663
    • Libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars. #099
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October 10th, 2017

    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #763
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #492
    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #501

October 11th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 26th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 27,717.37 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #750
    • The mining industry has taken a hit from tighter environmental regulations. #049
    • The nation's industries are scrambling to switch to biodegradable plastics. #261
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October 12th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 26th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 27,712.84 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.
    • An endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc. #577
    • Military funding has been stripped back. #014
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October 13th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 47th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 34,424.43 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Artists are pillars of society. #124
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October 14th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 137th in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 104.35 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. #371
    • Suburban backyards are seized by the government and turned into national parks. #457
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October 15th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 224th in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 43.77 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
    • Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. #121
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October 16th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 53rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 382.72 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #293
    • Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #838
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #522
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October 17th, 2017

    • The Divine Cervinean Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation. #448
    • Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain. #699
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #026
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #630

October 19th, 2017

    • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #262
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #677
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #768
    • Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #798
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #023
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #491
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life. #190

October 20th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 11,588th in the world and 271st in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 884.70776712 Days.
    • Divine Cervine changed its national animal to "undead purple fairy deer".
    • Divine Cervine changed its national currency to "€ luminous orb".
    • The government has solemnly sworn not to look up other nations' internet browsing history if the favor is returned. #650
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October 21st, 2017

    • Ten-year-olds are applying for lemonade stand operator licences. #772
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #297
    • Undead purple fairy deer have more rights than the average citizen. #060
    • The national guard is mobilized whenever a mother gets separated from her child at the mall. #341

October 22nd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 11th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 616.25 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist. #394
    • Busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets. #785
    • Thomas the Spank Engine is the most popular and controversial children's show in the nation. #516
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October 23rd, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,513th in the world and 67th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,458.07 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #505
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned undead purple fairy deerball fields. #415
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October 24th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 193rd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 18,963.62 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.
    • Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes. #200
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #590
    • Funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. #583
    • Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet. #365
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October 25th, 2017

    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-€ luminous orb mansions. #127
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #598
    • Drones are unable to lift the weight of their accompanying paperwork. #849

October 26th, 2017

    • Earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. #672
    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #018

October 27th, 2017

    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #149
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.
    • Politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times. #845 dismiss Increases Rudeness 5.01 → 5.05 +0.80%
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from Superb to Excellent. Political Freedom 74.86 → 72.95 -2.6%

October 28th, 2017

    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #097
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #551
    • Flu research is commonly shut down for fear of creating a superbug. #708
    • The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #252
    • The police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers. #185

October 29th, 2017

    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #410
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

October 30th, 2017


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,889th in the world and 159th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 370 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.
    • The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #628
    • A zombie apocalypse has befallen upon the nation. NationStates-Z6
    • Divine Cervine is currently researching a cure.
    • Refugees from other nations are flocking to Divine Cervine's border. #047
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October 31st, 2017




    • Divine Cervine is ranked 50th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Pacifist, with 386.18 Cheeks Turned Per Day.
    • A zombie apocalypse continues to ravage the nation.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Percentage Zombies.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Zombies.
    • Divine Cervine was ravaged by a Zombie Burster Horde, infecting 35 million survivors and converting to a zombie exporter! Oh no!
    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #331
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #029
    • Most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. #167
    • Divine Cervine published "The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2017 November - December" (Factbook: History).

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