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Dispatch → Bulletin → News
the BUNION - Issue No. 3
Christian Bale Thanks Satan For Informing Potrayal of Cormac In Award-Winning Biopic
By Ark
Pictured: Christian Bale thanking Satan for informing his portrayal of Cormactopia.
PACIFICA HARBOR - Christian Bale's dramatic transformation to play former Osiran Pharaoh Cormactopia prime
paid off during the Golden Globes ceremony earlier this year, as the accomplished actor won an impressive number of awards for his starring role in the Biopic The Wolf of WALL Street. Bale renounced and reapplied for citizenship 40 times in a number of different regions, and spent 37 consecutive hours arguing with a Europeian to prepare for the role. "Thank you Satan for giving me the inspiration how to play this role," said Bale at the awards ceremony.
For their part, the Church of Satan had this to say in reply:
Bale also joked that from here on out, he would be "cornering the market" on playing "charisma-free players." The actor ended his speech with "what do you think, Glen-Rhodes next?"
Augustin Androids Taking Jobs, Locals Furious
By Ark
Pictured: The warm and friendly Augustin Android Version 2.0.
BUNION HQ - Riots have broken out across NationStates this month as unemployment rates have skyrocketed, due in large part to the spike in popularity of Augustin Alliance Brand "Augustin Androids." The AA has reported record-breaking profits as regions across NationStates are adopting the androids for security purposes, as well as general administrative duties. The spike in popularity, however, has also resulted in many citizens losing their jobs to automation. One such citizen, Overthinkers, had this to say:
August, inventor of the Augustin Android, has declined to comment at this time. It is worth noting, however, that there is a large assembly of the androids heading toward the Bunion Headquarters as of this morning.
Many Seeking Remaining Signs Of Apocalypse After Civil Debate In NSGP Discord
By Ark
Pictured: A strange weather phenomenon which took place soon after the event.
NEUTRAL GROUND, NSGP - Doomsday bunker sales spiked Monday morning as mass hysteria gripped the world NationStates. This hysteria came on the heels of a lengthy conversation which occured in the NationStates GamePlay discord server. The conversation in question lasted roughly 3 hours, wherein players with opposing viewpoints on a topic debated said topic without once warranting intervention from moderation. This unprecedented lack of aggression evoked shock and dismay from onlookers, who immediately took it as a clear sign of impending doom. Several regions have begun moving their leadership into bunkers in the case of a doomsday scenario.
NSGP Server Owner Reventus Koth had this to say on the event: