The East PacificBoard

Dreamersistan wrote:

<grabs a ruler>

It's time to scale u, gator

: )

*Holds tail closely*

You'll never catch me alive!

*Starts running away*

nation=karatol-advenra/detail=factbook/id=1243429
What do you Guys think?

Dreamersistan wrote:

: )

U're a good kid and funny.

Please please please write with ur skills, Ek dont waste em

I will Dreamer. Speaking of which, I ought to start writing Scene 3. But also here's a little more about the Collector:

This is under the circumstance of a violator being crazy enough to meet with the Collector, and let them know of their intentions of not honoring the deal.

As the person makes their intentions clear the Collector will start shaking violently. And begin muttering words and sentences at an inhuman rate. They'll become extremely agitated and once the violator finishes speaking, the Collector will lose their norm of behaviour. They'll pounce on the violator and viciously maul them. Blinding and disfiguring them, but leaving them alive. The violator, still conscious, will get up and try to navigate their way to nearby civilization. The Collector gone. What follows is them being stalked by a Chaser for around an hour. Hearing the faint sound of it every so often, each time the sound gets closer and closer. Until finally the hunt ends with the Chaser capturing the violator. And brutally collecting their soul.

Dreamersistan wrote:

This sounds full of action but make sure to make us care about someone before u begin

Yeah, already got a thought. Teenage kid, living pretty poorly. It's just him and his Mother, who works hard to secure a future for him. And he makes sure to conduct himself responsibly, doing his best and enjoying life. Then his Mother gets cancer. Over the course of several months it's gotten worse and she's stuck in the hospital. One night he's home alone lamenting when his front door opens and out steps a Collector. Ready to make a deal. I'd imagine there'd be 2-3 decently sized scenes/posts before the Collector gets involved. How's it sound so far?

The Edrih-Ri look a lot like the dragonborn from dungeons and dragons. In fact, this is because their descendants of a now extinct bloodline of dragons commonly referenced in Orientalian mythologies.

For the most part their tech and culture is modeled after feudal korea. What sets them apart is a genetic caste system that divides them into 3 classes. Leaders, warriors, and everything else.

Dreamersistan wrote:

Excellent! Finally, u guys are beginning to get it!

That's good. Add some stuf him his past, something bad he's done. Or some guilt he lives with. That can unfold in the future. Also make him perhaps a delinquent. Or an informer to school authorities. Or someone that's conned other people.

If u wanna be really cool, set this story today.. in coronavirus territory

Yeah, making him a delinquent. Maybe it's demonstrated in the story he doesn't appreciate his Mother as he should. Says a couple bad things and does a couple bad things. Increases her stress and deteriorates their relationship. Then the cancer hits and he realizes just what a little sh1t he's been. Of course the delinquent aspect wouldn't just be the only prevalent aspect prior to the cancer reveal. He's still a hard working student and pretty charismatic guy, one with an ego problem but generally a mellow person. One who doesn't realize the mistakes they're making and their own self destructiveness.

Dreamersistan wrote:

Excellent : )

Ure beginning to get it. I expect good things and someday royalties from u

Yeah, also I'm changing the cancer thing. Rather than her having cancer she gets into an accident looking for him and is in a coma. This makes it so that her situation is a direct consequence of his actions and puts me in a harder position where i have to explore not just the main character's character, but the Mother's. Making the reader familiar with both characters and caring for them.

Dreamersistan wrote:

Both good ideas, and I like that you're pushing towards making them relate with Mama : )

Indeed, and with the readers caring for the characters it'll make the ending even better. You spend time with these characters, get to know them and enjoy them, but you know what's coming soon enough. That depending on how things go it will end good for one character, and horrible for the other. And that whoever manages to "end goodly" will have to live with what happened to the other for the rest of their life.

Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich wrote:

Indeed, and with the readers caring for the characters it'll make the ending even better. You spend time with these characters, get to know them and enjoy them, but you know what's coming soon enough. That depending on how things go it will end good for one character, and horrible for the other. And that whoever manages to "end goodly" will have to live with what happened to the other for the rest of their life.

That is exactly what every good narrative needs. It's not optional.

However, the idea of mama being alive or dead, and giving her enough screen-time, will depend on how u write and structure ur chaser-collector scenes. And pacing is very important, the more development u do, the more u careful u need to be with balancing pacing

Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich wrote:

Not a book, but a story.

Indeed, First things first, gonna need to draft it out on google docs. Similar to how i drafted out the ideas for a cancelled story way back from September. But this time make sure it doesn't die.

I believe u can do it : ) Specially Stephen King type stuff. Set in ur weird and wacky world