by Max Barry

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«12. . .3,2033,2043,2053,2063,2073,2083,209. . .5,0515,052»

Brocklandia wrote:No spirits are getting past any of our patrons. Spirits are being guzzled at alarming, liver-killing rates, with no end in sight. No tips in sight, either.

That's the tipping point.

Feoras, Brocklandia, Gretten dame, and New swaraelia

pun about alcohol

Did you know about the laughing ghost of Jim Beam?

He is in good spirits

ha, ha, ha, ha

Feoras, Gretten dame, and New swaraelia

OOC: I can't wait to get my computer and internet back. Trying to RP on a phone is terrible.

Zany Zanes wrote:Enjoy your bloody mary, hamster special.

The Lady stirs it and takes a drink. "Hmm... Not as good as human blood, but it adds a sort of nutty taste. I wonder if this counts a 'diet'. What other surprises do you have back there?"

Brocklandia wrote:You and 99.9973% of the world. Your point?

My point is that I'm not going to be your sugar mama. There are multitudes of better options out there for me... Like people who know what soap and water do (besides washing away suspicious blood stains).

Brocklandia wrote:I state for the record, and for the eventual Grand Jury inquest, that I know nothing about those bodies buried in the rose garden.

Humans are terrible fertilizer! No wonder you don't get paid.

Zany Zanes, New swaraelia, and Woods is back

East berlin state wrote:The Swig of the bottle,
The smell of the air,
A small bit of lipstick, in my hair

I take another drink,
And wipe my face,
My eyes are set on,
That girl named Kace.

Hair of Burgundy,
Eyes of Blue,
Lips of Purple,
Nails of Red,

I get the courage,
To jump out of my seat,
I walk towards her,
Eyes in sinc,

I open my mouth,
But nothing comes out,
"Spit it out!" She yells,
With a grin in hand,

"I love ma'me, with all my heart."
"But you smell like my uncle's toenails."
She says with a snout.
"Why is that, my dear?" I ask here kindly.

"Maybe because you wet yourself,"
She says with a giggle,
I would look down, and sure enough
Someone splashed their Tequila on me!

My cheeks would red in embarrassment,
And I would say,
"Thomas had never seen such bull s#$t in his life."

This is amazing. <gives smushed waffle> Uh...you can have...this...

East berlin state

Brocklandia wrote:You and 99.9973% of the world. Your point?

"Anna Karenina"? Noo, I don't know much about trains. Besides, I've already got my own title: "Moby Dick." Go ahead and yuck it up at my expense, but I know you and all the others here are just jealous.

I state for the record, and for the eventual Grand Jury inquest, that I know nothing about those bodies buried in the rose garden.

I might have a snappy comeback for that if I had a clue what my job is. And I might be motivated to find out what my job is if I got paid for it. Which of course brings us right back to that 99.9973% number from earlier.

Don’t brag just because only 99.9973% of the worlds richer than you. Some of us have it comfortably in the 99.9994% here!

New swaraelia wrote:This is amazing. <gives smushed waffle> Uh...you can have...this...

Your nice.
*Gives a freshly baked Chocolate donut*
Enjoy, my sweet boy.
_-----------+++++++-++
Hey, Feoras
You need to bring cuddles the zombie child in more, and maybe his mother thing named Karen! I love seeing both around here.

Feoras and New swaraelia

East berlin state wrote:Your nice.
*Gives a freshly baked Chocolate donut*
Enjoy, my sweet boy.
_-----------+++++++-++
Hey, Feoras
You need to bring cuddles the zombie child in more, and maybe his mother thing named Karen! I love seeing both around here.

Is this self esteem?! Unacceptable! Quick, someone insult me or I might want to get areal job!!!

East berlin state and RMSboatymcboatface

The Land of Sorrow responded by shelling New Moskva. Bad idea sending those Peacemakers over there.

New swaraelia and Anacin

Timetraveler republics

1980s America

Brocklandia wrote:We have an industrial vat of it out back. Lemme hook it up to a fire hose and then you can siphon it like a straw. Hope your liver and kidneys hold out ... 'cause Cheffy used all the others for today's lunch special, so we have no spares for you.

Huh?

Gretten dame and New swaraelia

Eripolis wrote:The Land of Sorrow responded by shelling New Moskva. Bad idea of sending those Peacemakers over there.

A ring of fire appears out of the wooden floor, Anacin crawls out of the hole, having a look of ' I have seen some shi8' He grabs a bottle of Irish whisky and chugs it all.

Im Back, Hell Is not fun. WORSE. TOUR BUS. EVER.

New swaraelia

Timetraveler republics wrote:Huh?

Ah! Good tactic. The prosecution can't use the things you say against you if you pretend ignorance.

Zany Zanes and New swaraelia

Feoras wrote:My point is that I'm not going to be your sugar mama.

Good, because I avoid carbs.

Feoras wrote:Like people who know what soap and water do (besides washing away suspicious blood stains).

Oh, I'm quite familiar with the chemistry and actions of fatty-acid based emulsifying surfactant-salts in the presence of the universal solvent. But that doesn't mean I wanna douse myself with 'em just to fit Society's arbitrary notions of "hygiene." I mean, I understand how gasoline works too, and I don't go dousing myself with that, either.

Feoras wrote:Humans are terrible fertilizer! No wonder you don't get paid.

They're not there as fertilizer-they're there to keep them out of sight. Like putting things in the attic, but without the airborne smell.

Feoras and New swaraelia

Anacin wrote:Im Back, Hell Is not fun. WORSE. TOUR BUS. EVER.

Welcome back. But I thought you were taking the helicopter tour of Hell instead?

Feoras, Gretten dame, Drunkndisorderly, New swaraelia, and 1 otherAnacin

New swaraelia wrote:Is this self esteem?! Unacceptable! Quick, someone insult me or I might want to get areal job!!!

Get back to work. That'll take care of your self-esteem in no time.

New swaraelia

Brocklandia wrote:Get back to work. That'll take care of your self-esteem in no time.

Phew, I was getting worried I might have confidence there for a second.

New swaraelia wrote:Phew, I was getting worried I might have confidence there for a second.

That's never a problem around here.

New swaraelia

Hello. Do anyone have shrimps?

Zany Zanes and New swaraelia

Big octopus wrote:Hello. Do anyone have shrimps?

I'm checking our contacts as we speak.

New swaraelia

anybody got nukes?

Gretten dame, Zany Zanes, and New swaraelia

Jayrosha wrote:anybody got nukes?

Called up an old bar buddy. Shipping might take a few business days.

Feoras and New swaraelia

Jayrosha wrote:anybody got nukes?

What do you need it for?

New swaraelia

I'm back from a long hibernation (even though cats don't hibernate), I almost CTE'd, thank Max Barry for vacation mode

Gretten dame, Zany Zanes, and New swaraelia

Brocklandia wrote:Welcome back. But I thought you were taking the helicopter tour of Hell instead?

Nah...Too expensive.

New swaraelia

East lodge

Feoras wrote:Which? The mincemeat or the intact ones?
I like this bartender. He's friendlier than Brock.

Does a Bloody Mary count as themed?

Intact please

East berlin state wrote:I think the spirits of the lonely Katskill mountains have possesed me, similar to that of the weird looking men in Rip Van Winkle by Booker T. Washington. But instead of going into a coma for 20 years and i have the urge to poke people in the eye.
*I would poke Anacin in the eye will my finger, and then grab a small Revolver my pocket**Shoots in the arm, then the right leg* How dare you insult my kind you no-good Berry winkle you!
*Shoots in the foot* It is deep, very deep..

Now you're slowed down....

*creeps forward*

New swaraelia

Look at that not suspicious hot tub

Everyone go in it

It's free

It's located in the door behind the bar

New swaraelia

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