by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,0854,0864,0874,0884,0894,0904,091. . .5,0515,052»

Sexy-cheerleaders

Kiestarovian mercenaries wrote:*sighs and pulls out his gun* It is the 1920's so there was no computers!

People these days just can't calm down and walk it off.

Welcome to the Bar, Sexy-cheerleaders. Sit wherever you like. Menus are on the tables, drink specials are posted over the main bar, and the line for the stomach pumps starts to your left. I advise against the dinner special, though, because of the annoying rumor that it's made with slightly spoiled Goblin 104 meat.

Sexy-cheerleaders

Brocklandia wrote:Welcome to the Bar, Sexy-cheerleaders. Sit wherever you like. Menus are on the tables, drink specials are posted over the main bar, and the line for the stomach pumps starts to your left. I advise against the dinner special, though, because of the annoying rumor that it's made with slightly spoiled Goblin 104 meat.

It would be cool to work here.

Sexy-cheerleaders wrote:It would be cool to work here.

There's that word again: "work." I wonder what it means. Rumor has it, "work" involves pay, and I know we don't have that around here. But if I can't dissuade you from seeking a job here, pester Kissinger-Monroe for an application.

Sexy-cheerleaders

Brocklandia wrote:There's that word again: "work." I wonder what it means. Rumor has it, "work" involves pay, and I know we don't have that around here. But if I can't dissuade you from seeking a job here, pester Kissinger-Monroe for an application.

Oof.

Knock Knock.
Barkeep, I'll have a bottle of schnapps and 2 chops of pork.
Oh, and don't forget baked potatoes.

Puppet tyranacility

Mindon wrote:Hmmm, let's see what's on the news.
*turns on radio*

Radio: A mysterious explosion engulfed severa-

*switches stations*

Radio: Nuclear tensions rising as the negotiations continue to-

*switches stations*

Radio: A truck was stolen today from a drug farm, after a vicious shoot-

*switches stations*

Radio:A plane carrying $1 billion dollars went down over the zombie infested flooded city of-

*switches station*

OOC:If anyone wants to add any more stories to the radio, I'm fine with it.

A mysterious explosion engulfed several nearby building this afternoon in —
*Radio cuts out*
Ah god damnit. Mindon looks like the relics I gave you ages ago have been transported irresponsibly

Puppet tyranacility wrote:A mysterious explosion engulfed several nearby building this afternoon in —
*Radio cuts out*
Ah god damnit. Mindon looks like the relics I gave you ages ago have been transported irresponsibly

You don't know that. That explosion could have been caused by anyone!

Radio: KILL PEOPLE BET-

*switches stations*

Radio: So call 1-800-555-245 to use the secret hotline that is-

*switches stations*

Radio: We know where you live, and our-

*switches station*

Radio: Alien Invasion on the coast of-

*switches station*

Lot of stuff on the radio.

Prussian baltic wrote:Knock Knock.
Barkeep, I'll have a bottle of schnapps and 2 chops of pork.
Oh, and don't forget baked potatoes.

Here you go--one Redneck Special, as requested. I even brought you a straw for the bottle.

Puppet tyranacility

Mindon wrote:You don't know that. That explosion could have been caused by anyone!

Radio: KILL PEOPLE BET-

*switches stations*

Radio: So call 1-800-555-245 to use the secret hotline that is-

*switches stations*

Radio: We know where you live, and our-

*switches station*

Radio: Alien Invasion on the coast of-

*switches station*

Lot of stuff on the radio.

*Radio turns back on*
Aliens seems to be descending from the sky--
Ah ****

Orang-utang

The weekend poetry contest has begun! The plague docterr will be judging.

The plague docterr wrote:Ok then... criteria is a peon about this bar and it has to go aabaccabca

Hello good day.

Puppet tyranacility wrote:Aliens seems to be descending from the sky--
Ah ****

Well, of course. Where else would they come from?--Mexico?

The plague docterr and Sexy-cheerleaders

Brocklandia wrote:Welcome to the Bar, Sexy-cheerleaders. Sit wherever you like. Menus are on the tables, drink specials are posted over the main bar, and the line for the stomach pumps starts to your left. I advise against the dinner special, though, because of the annoying rumor that it's made with slightly spoiled Goblin 104 meat.

The goblin will be turning in his "grave" hearing this, which won't be good for the stomach he ends up, be his meat spoilt or not.

(By guys! : )

Sexy-cheerleaders

The plague docterr wrote:Hey I thought I should tell ya this, there’s people in KAISERREICH who are trying to off you

Typical weekend, eh?

Goblin 104 wrote:(By guys! : )

Have fun among the chicken overlords!

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has begun! The plague docterr will be judging.

The Plague Docterr wrote:
Ok then... criteria is a peon about this bar and it has to go aabaccabca

*Ahem!* Presenting, a poem of sorts.

Oh, look!--It's a poem-a.
It has a rhyme schema.
Might be about the Bar,
But that a real stretch-a.
Sure, the Bar's a great place;
The drinks melt off your face.
(Insert the next line-a.)
This Bar sure goes far
On stomach pump grace,
Long as you're a surviv'a.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

The plague docterr wrote:Honestly, I doubted that someone would actually respond to the poem because of how long it is

I'm not intimidated by length.

... Wait, I should rephrase that.

TheOrc and The plague docterr

Hi! Thanks for forming embassies! I hope we have great relations for years to come!

Yo, you guys participating in N-day? If you are can we join y'all?

Songs you dont understand

Songs you dont understand

SFR Philippines wrote:Yo, you guys participating in N-day? If you are can we join y'all?

I participated

Stalmorni wrote:Hi! Thanks for forming embassies! I hope we have great relations for years to come!

Likewise. Cheers my friend

Stalmorni

Drunkndisorderly wrote:Likewise. Cheers my friend

Cheers!

Puppet tyranacility wrote:*Radio turns back on*
Aliens seems to be descending from the sky--
Ah ****

Hmm.

Radio: We have confirmation, yes. Nuclear strikes have been confirmed in-

*switches stations*

Radio: ALL CITIZENS EVACUATE TO THE BUNK-

*switches stations*

Radio: Thousands dead in horrific nuclear-

*switches stations*

Radio: -incoming nuclear. *a long explosion and shaking can be heard* Listeners, this is our final broadcast. May you all rest- AAHHHHH! *beeeeeep*

*switches stations*

Geeze,everyone's talking about this nuclear war stuff.

Orang-utang

Orang-utang haz nukes.

When the jukebox had silenced, a young german lad entered with an acoustic guitar. He tapped the jukebox, which for him, usually got a song playing, but this time it didn’t. He made his way to the barstool and sat on it, and began playing an acoustic blues tune.

https://youtu.be/iKMqpqF6O2s

When he had finished the song he approached the Jukebox again and lightly tapped it with his boot. It then played the same song back to him. He smiled and sat at the bar, slinging the instrument on his back. “Whiskey.” He said gruffly, looking to the bartender.

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