by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Bikini Islands

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Bikini Islands is ranked 11,428th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Republic of Tega KayCapitalist Paradise“Pizza Party!”
2.The Incorporated States of Middle MoveeptourCivil Rights Lovefest“Mission Accomplished”
3.The Free Land of MacDaddiLeft-wing Utopia“Beauties of the World”
4.The Democratic Republic of The BBQ Sauce IslandsLiberal Democratic Socialists“Twirling Toward Hot Girls 🔥🔥🔥”
5.The Colony of Taveuni IslandsDemocratic Socialists“Vigilance, Honor, Courage”