by Max Barry

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The Highest Unexpected Death Rate in Florida

The World Census paid their respects at cemeteries in order to determine how likely citizens were to die each year from unnatural causes, such as crime, preventable illness, accident, and government encouragement.

As a region, Florida is ranked 4,997th in the world for Highest Unexpected Death Rate.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Unbearable Lightness of BloodkillerCapitalist Paradise“Shall I kill you now?”
2.The Fascist Hellhole of Ron DeathSantisIron Fist Consumerists“Don't say 'gay'!”
3.The Tourist Traps of Central FloridaInoffensive Centrist Democracy“In Citrus We Trust”
4.The United States of Trumpy AmericaCompulsory Consumerist State“In Trump We Trust”
5.The Dominion of MontverdeLeft-Leaning College State“Dieu et mon droit”
6.The Most 𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 Republic of Walt DisneyWorldCorrupt Dictatorship“🏰 Where Dreams Come True”
7.The Armed Republic of TallahasseeRight-wing Utopia“Please do not laugh at the capitol building.”
8.The Free Land of West FLCompulsory Consumerist State“Growth, Change, Accomplishment.”
9.The Dictatorship of Art of PizzaFather Knows Best State“We make the best pizza!”
10.The Community of Nicoteen CentralFather Knows Best State“Don't Dream It, Be It”
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