by Max Barry

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Florida World Census

The Most Primitive in Florida

Nations were ranked by World Census officials based on the number of natural phenomena attributed to the unknowable will of animal-based spirit gods.

As a region, Florida is ranked 13,985th in the world for Most Primitive.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Free Land of Imperial Polk CountyFather Knows Best State“Lakes, sunburn and sinkholes, oh my!”
2.The Armed Republic of TallahasseeRight-wing Utopia“Please do not laugh at the capitol building.”
3.The Shadowy Figure of WhodoesitsFather Knows Best State“I have a secret”
4.The Queendom of Big sand castlesInoffensive Centrist Democracy“I am building my home on the beach”
5.The Principality of Sandy ShoesDemocratic Socialists“I need flip flops”
6.The Grand Duchy of Lotion rubbersMoralistic Democracy“Apply sun screen....fall asleep”
7.The Community of Cape CoralineMoralistic Democracy“How do I know you'll keep your word?”
8.The Republic of Orange grove farmersDemocratic Socialists“Have an orange”
9.The Republic of Great universal truthDemocratic Socialists“We know and will help you know”
10.The Republic of Fish Eating GirlsCorrupt Dictatorship“Fish... good for you”
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