by Max Barry

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The Black Hawks World Census

The Fattest Citizens in The Black Hawks

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Black Hawks is ranked 6,709th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Donald Trump USA Dystopia of Fa NienteCompulsory Consumerist State“How stupid are the people of Iowa?”
2.The Oppressive Oppressors of Israeli AirstrikesCorporate Police State“Remember: We can always make it worse.”
3.The Kingdom of Firic EmpireCorporate Police State“Say Hello To My Little Nuke”
4.The Empire of PontusiaCorporate Police State“Ours is the fury”
5.The Republic of Empire of JohnlandRight-wing Utopia“Join the military, get a job, or leave!”
6.The Ex-TBH Sergeant of WoryandAnarchy“Vinco Ergo Sum”
7.The Empire of TsingtawCorporate Police State“HOLD MY BEER”
8.The Principality of EzkioCorporate Police State“What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.”
9.The Protectorate of FreditoriaMoralistic Democracy“Fred got Fat”
10.The Federation of You Sandy BeachAnarchy“Not as nice as you think”
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