by Max Barry

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The Highest Food Quality in The United States of Greater BlatterLand

Professional food critics dined out at restaurants and popped into home kitchens to judge ingredient quality, creativity, and diversity of food.

As a region, The United States of Greater BlatterLand is ranked 2,245th in the world for Highest Food Quality.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The United States of ButtersticksLeft-wing Utopia“Where am I?”
2.The Slightly Airborne Land of The Crags of Tel-naeirInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Fear not for what the future brings; we cannot know it”
3.The Commonwealth of HotentotsCivil Rights Lovefest“Imagine More Snacks Than You Can Imagine”
4.The Kingdom of Zinger BoxScandinavian Liberal Paradise“Did somebody say KFC?”
5.The Incorporated States of GyurmaScandinavian Liberal Paradise“Mmmm... Sausages”
6.The Phazianactianalandian Polity of PhazianactianalandIron Fist Consumerists“when the miposter is sussp?? phazianactijnland moment”
7.The FullBlown Existential Crisis of Blatter LandCorporate Police State“Does this suit make me look fat?”