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Autoroga wrote:snip

Ooc: That's fine, you can have your opinion about the WA, just don't ask people to quit it. They can do as they like.

What do u guys think of my new leader

Japhetia, Hellkan, and Langenia

Neuferia wrote:What do u guys think of my new leader

Sounds oddly familiar...

Neuferia wrote:What do u guys think of my new leader

Too familiar to a leader that was respected by the D*m9c7a~y and the fp33 world

Japhetia

Neuferia wrote:What do u guys think of my new leader

(“Socialism is the philosophy of failure…” – Winston Churchill)

(EDIT: Actually I should include my absolute favorite Sir Winston quote. As the story goes either one of the young socialists or the first female MP (lol never elect women!) was railing on Sir Winston for being a "disgusting drunk". Sir Winston turns to her and replies; "My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly" ----Sir Winston Churchill)

Former thialrens

OOC: *Roleplay incoming!*

(OOC: Switched from Former Thialren Grammar to regular grammar)
IC:
A filthy d*m*cr*t*c nation called Turtle paradise has declared Former Thialrens to be in violation of their r*ghts and fr**d*ms!! They have condemned our great nation. Certain politicians are advocating war against them! Warboss Chief Tuffklaw has made no comment yet. Oh! He has made a comment! In accordance with DEAREST LEADER's rules, Tuffklaw is not going to respond to the filthy d*m*cr*cy that has condemned Former Thialrens. ALL HAIL DEAREST LEADER!!

Isle of Rus, Japhetia:

On the isle of Rus, the last unoccupied island of province Magog, Beorn the Elder of Magog makes his last stand. Over the past weeks Beorn had evacuated much of his population and military to the island. The Magogites have strongly fortified a city near the coast. Resisting heavily it took Alexander and Perseus several days of fighting to clear a landing spot.

After securing their landing zone, the troops from Madai and Javan land on the island in mass and put the Magogites to a siege. Alexander, the Elder of Javan, and the reigning head of state of Japhetia, under the guise of a Regency to his youngest brother, personally lands on the isle of Rus to lead his armies. Perseus, the Elder of Madai, has contracted some sort of disease, and running a fever, he stays behind on his flagship with his new wife Andromeda, allowing his troops to be led by his half-brother Alexander.

Alexander personally approaches the city with his army, and over a microphone speaks to the defenders within.

"Come out and surrender to me. There is no need for you all to die. Deliver to me that traitor Beorn for his attempt to seize the throne of Japhetia from me and I shall spare your lives." Alexander boldly proclaims to the Magogites, offering them an amnesty if they turn on their Elder.

"Turn back and go home Alexander this city shall not fall to you says the Lord." Upon the wall a reply answers down to Alexander, looking up Alexander sees the hairy and poorly robed Prophet Elijah upon the wall starring down at him resolutely.

"Oh troubler of Japhetia are you here as well? I shall certainly repay you for all the curses you pronounced against my father. Two traitors caught in the same trap. Throw them down here!" Alexander laughs and shouts back.

"Nay, but it is your father Dodaneus and his house that trouble Japhetia. For all the adultery of Dodaneus and the idolatry of Hera the land is accursed. As if it were a light thing Alexander bought more idols than Hera and slept around like Dodaneus and made his own son a bastard like himself. Alexander will surely die here unless he turns around now says the Lord." Prophet Elijah calmly responds back.

"What son have I?" Alexander responds, a hint of pain his voice as internally he realizes that Roxana, the servant girl he slept with may have indeed conceived. His heart convicts him as he himself is the oldest of Dodaneus' illegitimate children from his many affairs.

"The thoughts of your heart are true, you have done to your son like Dodaneus did to you, but your son will never know you." Prophet Elijah replies, seeming to read Alexander's mind.

"I will kill you old man and sacrifice you to the idol of DEAR LEADER FERENTIUS in the square of Alba where your mentor Bishop Patrick died for this insult!" Alexander rages back.

"If indeed you return to Alba at all then the Lord has not spoken by me." Prophet Elijah dismounts the wall and disappears into the city.

Alexander rages some more daring Elijah or Beorn to come out but there is no response. So Alexander orders his troops to dig in around the city and commit to siege. Bringing his artillery ashore, he begins to bombard their position.

Who wants to hear a joke

"ALL HUMANS MUST BE PROCESSED. COMMENCING CONSTRUCTION OF SUBSIDIARY COVERT PROCESSING FACILITIES NEAR MAJOR D*M*CR*TIC POPULATION CENTERS. GLORY TO DEAREST LEADER."
- Mainframe Alpha

Menta Lee-IL, Destructive Government Economic System, Matonis, Japhetia, and 5 othersHellkan, Langenia, Avulsion, Poopoo stinkface, and Cosmic Unity Church

Greek revolutionaries

Opro wrote:Who wants to hear a joke

I do

Japhetia

Japhetia:

A strange plague causing a fever breaks out throughout Japhetia, bringing the war to something of a grim standstill throughout the nation. In Alba the capitol, Germanicus "Caligula" Caesar II the Elder of Gomer succumbs to the strange malady and becomes delirious with fever in a military tent erected on the burnt out ruins of the palace grounds. On the far eastern isle of Rus where many of Japhetia's nobles are gathered for battle, Alexander the Elder of Javan and the reigning Regent of Japhetia also succumbs to the disease. His brother Perseus, the Elder of Madai, aboard the navy has his fever which he contracted days a go break and he begins to recover, though still bed bound from the after effects.

As the day goes on Alexander slips in and out of consciousness his body trembling with sweat and burning at an incredible temperature. His breath becomes short and his condition worsens as night approaches. The Javanite troops are still occasionally shelling the city, which only puts up a seeming token resistance and response. While some of the troops have fallen prey to the disease they are unaware of the state of their commander. Alexander's loyal generals, and via a video uplink, Perseus and Andromeda watching from the ships gather around Alexander as it becomes apparent he shall die tonight.

"I am going to die." At about 4 AM Alexander returns briefly to consciousness, his rattling breath sounds out as he looks around dazed at those around him.

"My liege you cannot die. Who will rule Japhetia? Who shall administer the province of Javan; the land of your ancestors?" One of Alexander's oldest personal friends, and also a minor Javanic general named Seleucus stammers out noticing the panic of the crisis of how without Alexander the long ruling House of Javan has no real clear heir to inherit the province.

"My liege what of Heracles your youngest brother to whom you are Regent and whom you like a good oldest brother have defended? Or if that mad old man's prophecy be true, what of your son with that woman Roxana. Perseus will help us locate the woman and see if indeed she be with your heir. We shall pledge ourselves to always defend your son as you defended all of us Javanites in your lifetime hazarding your own life for us my lord." Ptolmey, another old friend and general that has been with Alexander in the Japhetian canon since the Gallic Wars in Japhetia's earlier histories loyally suggests an heir for Alexander to designate.

"Even a d-mocracy of us Javanites is better than to be ruled by Germanicus and the Gomerians after what we hear they did to our people back home. Who will save our homeland now? Who will lead the armies? Will we even have a province to go home to? You cannot die dear general!" Another general with tears in his eyes cries out at Alexander's bedside.

"My brother if you can hear me, wake up, your people need you. I shall always be your ally Alex you fought to rescue dad, me, and all of our family even if our Dodanim branch is messed up you were always the first to go to fight for us. I love you brother." Perseus the Elder of Madai on a video screen speaks out and his voice seems to for a moment break the feverish daze of his dying half-brother.

"House Javan and Japhetia will go to....." Alexander tries to sit up and he stammers out looking at his friends and fixing his eyes for a long second upon the screen with his recovering half-brother Perseus. They all look in anxiously at Alexander's shocking dual heterochromia iridium eyes, the same defining eyes of his father Dodaneus and Dodaneus own father Caesar the first Patriarch, a physical sign of the firstborn sons. His face relaxes for a moment of peace and the Elder slumps over but then he begins trembling with chills as his burning body pours out sweat. After a few moments he exhales his last words, ".......the strongest."

At about 4:34 in the morning Alexander the Regent of Japhetia dies in his military encampment amongst his soldiers and personal retinue. Alexander succumbs to the fever which has broken out in some areas of Japhetia, particularly those torn apart by the war. News of the Regent's passing however is not immediately told. In Alba, the capitol, the Gomerians finish securing Alba, but the Elder Germanicus II also lays delirious with the fever, unable to claim the Leadership of Japhetia for now. Through secret channels news of Alexander's death reach the Elders Apollo of Tubal and even Aphrodite of Meshech of their oldest brother's death. The peoples of the provinces of Javan, Madai, Tubal, and Meshech mourn for Alexander's passing and knowledge of his death becomes public. One uncertain chapter of Japhetia's War of Successions closes and another begins.

Chuching, Destructive Government Economic System, Hellkan, Christian american federation, and 3 othersKhoronzon, Langenia, and Poopoo stinkface

Poopoo stinkface

Transmission in progress...
Stand by...

"It's always hot from the deck!"

*kzZZzT*
DEAR FELLOW DICTATORS AND OLIGARCHS-IN-ARMS!!!

AS YOU MAY KNOW, the REPUBLIC OF POOPOO STINKFACE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PERFECT UTOPIA FOR ALL OF YOUR RUM-SWILLING, TOBACCO-SMUGGLING, AND SNORTING-LINES-OF-'LEGAL'-COKE-OFF-OF-A-THIRD-WORLD-BEAUTY'S REAR NEEDS! HOWEVER, WE WISH TO INFORM YOU OF A BRAND NEW DEVELOPMENT WITHIN THE TURDLIKE STATE THAT HAS COME ABOUT VIA THE GUIDANCE AND ETERNAL WISDOM OF THE SUPREME LEADER!!!!! FOR HE HAS DECREED THAT FROM NOW ON, ALL HOMELESS THAT BESMIRCH THE IMAGE OF THE STATE AND OF THE SUPREME LEADER, SHOULD THEY FAIL TO SHOW UP TO WORK FOR LACK OF FOOD OR TRANSPORTATION, OR SIMPLY REFUSE THE MAGNANIMOUS PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC'S ORDERS, THOSE MENTALLY-DERANGED, IMMORAL VERMIN SHALL BE SHOT ON SIGHT AND ERADICATED LIKE THE TRAITOROUS DOGS THEY ARE!!!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY, IN THE WEEK SINCE THE ETERNAL GENERALISSIMO'S MANDATE WAS BROADCAST TO THE ARMY, THE INCREASED RATE OF EXECUTIONS AND THE RAPIDLY DWINDLING NUMBER OF 1960'S ERA STOCKPILED AK ROUNDS PRESENT IN OUR ARMORIES HAVE BEGUN TO BECOME A DRAIN ON OUR COFFERS. COINCIDENTALLY, SOME OF DEAREST LEADER'S PETS ARE BEGINNING TO WONDER WHAT IT IS TRULY LIKE TO EXPERIENCE FLIGHT- THAT IS, THE FUN WAY.

THAT IS WHY, MY FELLOW COLLEAGUES AND ESTEEMED COLLECTORS OF RARE-VINTAGES-OF-DEAREST-LEADER'S-FINEST-BACKWASH, I HAVE DECIDED TO OPEN UP THE HITHERTO HEAVILY-GUARDED FRONTIERS FROM WHICH THE SUPREME GENERALISSIMO RADIATES HIS UBER-GODLY AURA OF EXTREME HOTNESS FROM TO ALL DISSIDENTS THAT NEED DISPOSAL* WITH DUE HASTE. TAKE THEM ON THE RIDE OF THEIR LIVES, LITERALLY, AND PONY UP TO TAKE A SCENIC ROUTE OVER THE OCEAN WITH PHATTBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!

RUN BY THE MOST CAPABLE PILOTS IN ALL OF POOPOO STINKFACE (THAT IS, ALL 12 OF THEM), AND WITH WHAT THE DECADENT WALL STREET JOURNAL DECRIES AS 'ONLY' A COMBINED WEEK'S WORTH OF EXPERIENCE ON THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA'S BASIC ENGLISH LITERACY COURSE, OUR BRAVE AIRMEN WILL MAKE SURE THAT THEY WILL NEVER WANT TO REBEL OR SPEAK OUT AGAINST YOUR SERENE GODLINESSES FOREVERMORE!!!! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY, SEND THEM ON A DIVE TODAY!!!!! DON'T GO PRO, GO WITH PHATTBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!**

(*for a fee of course! We can give you a ballpark answer if you care to grease our palms or caress the EXALTED LEADER's Adonis-like feet.)
(**One-way tickets only. No refunds will be provided. Special rates available for group tours!)

Terms and conditions apply. Feel free to check us out at: www.unclejohns.com/thelooroll/search/what+I+learned+from+yeeting+poor+kids+off+of+my+very+own+battle+bus.html! (featured article of the month)

Menta Lee-IL, Chuching, Autoroga, Sectian, and 8 othersDestructive Government Economic System, Japhetia, Hellkan, Christian american federation, Glorious psychotic britain, Langenia, Avulsion, and Cosmic Unity Church

(I have created a new Factbook for those that like reading along Japhetia's psychotic power struggle for the next dictator of the country in this deadly romance of autocracy and intrigues. An updated map and a summarized chronology of the recent IC events in Japhetia is included! With Alexander's death Japhetia's Leader will be changed to Caligula sometime after midnight tonight.)

Legend:
(The character which is the Elder of the province is represented in parenthesis)

White - Capital District of Alba (Disputed. Currently controlled by House Gomer)
Green - House Javan (Alexander)
Purple - House Gomer (Germanicus II)
Brown - House Magog (Beorn)
Orange - House Tiras (Sigurd)
Red - House Meshech (Aphrodite as Regent to Aeneas)
Yellow - House Madai (Perseus)
Black - House Tubal (Apollo)

*Darker Colors on the map indicate occupied territory.

Navy (color) - Sizeable Navies fielded by the House the color of their text appears in.

Chronology of Events:
nation=japhetia/detail=factbook/id=1395822

15. Alexander recaptures Alba and reclaims his title as Regent to Japhetia. Beorn the Elder of Magog flees and Alexander pursues leaving Heracles and an army in Alba.

16. Perseus the Elder of Madai joins Alexander, and together with the vast population and near proximity of province Madai, the brothers launch a massive invasion of province Magog's main island. Germanicus II of House Gomer continues fighting in province Javan's heartland and the Battle of Corinth begins. Artemis the twin sister of Elder Apollo from House Tubal comes to assist the Javanites at Corinth with her navy and army.

17. Germanicus II and the Gomerians win the Battle of Corinth. Artemis is captured and forced to become Germanicus II's wife and publicly humiliated.

18. Beorn the Elder of Magog evacuates his main island. After a brief Battle of Constantinople, a mere token resistance while the Magogite evacuate by sea, Alexander captures the capitol of province Magog effectively seizing the whole territory of the island of Magog.

19. Alexander has a tryst with a dancer from Madai named Roxana, she conceives a son by him. Alexander and Perseus fight a naval battle with Aphrodite the Elder of Meshech's navy, and destroy one Meshech's navies before continuing their campaign against the Ragnarssons.

20. Germanicus II and the Gomerians capture Sparta, the capitol of province Javan and effectively take control of its heartland. At the behest of Artemis, a daughter of Dodaneus and sister to Alexander, the civilian population is spared, although all captured Javanite soldiers are executed. Artemis insultingly dubs Germanicus II "Caligula" and the epithet catches on with the public becoming his name.

21. Alexander lands in the province of Tiras while Beorn and Perseus' navies fight near the island of Crimea belonging originally to Magog. Beorn evacuates Crimea and Perseus lands with little resistance. The locals present him a woman named Andromeda naked chained to a rock as a sort of bribe for their lives. Perseus frees Andromeda and she agrees to be his wife of her own will if he will avenge her honor by slaying those that took her hostage, and he does so. Several Crimean women marry soldiers from Madai in a lavish war bride ceremony and the island is effectively captured by Perseus.

22. Alexander reaches the capitol of Tiras of the same name as the province. He razes the countryside of the agricultural province and razes their capitol. Bruhilda and Siegfried, the wife and underage son of Sigurd escape and form a resistance in the country. Alexander leaves a small army to fortify the coast and raid the province of its food and with his navy departs to rendezvous with his brother.

23. Germanicus "Caligula" Caesar II lands on the western shores of Alba and begins fierce fighting with the Javanites. As the Ragnarssons are prevailing over the navies of Javan and Madai east of Alba the Javanites escape with a navy carrying Heracles to Ionia the province of Javan. The remaining Javanites in Alba put up a fierce struggle to the death.

24. Alexander personally lands on Magog's last island where Beorn has evacuated the bulk of his population and military for a last stand. Alexander personally leads his Javanic elite army and the Madai army of his brother Perseus. A disease has broken out and Perseus remains with the navy. Alexander offers to spare the Magogites if they will surrender Beorn to him. Prophet Elijah appears and responds with a rebuke to Alexander and makes him aware of the conception of his son with Roxana.

25. A disease causing a fever spreads throughout the war-torn areas of Japhetia. Germanicus becomes struck with the fever as does Alexander. Perseus the Elder of Madai recovers. Alexander takes to the fever badly and suddenly dies without naming a successor to province Javan or to be Regent of Japhetia. The death of the famous figure leads to mourning in all the provinces governed by the royal branch of the family fathered by Dodaneus. The strange pandemic brings a lull in the War of Japhetian Successions briefly though the war will continue.

Read factbook

Poopoo stinkface wrote:Transmission in progress...
Stand by...

"It's always hot from the deck!"

*kzZZzT*
DEAR FELLOW DICTATORS AND OLIGARCHS-IN-ARMS!!!

I'm interested. Disposal of dissidents is fun.
AS YOU MAY KNOW, the REPUBLIC OF POOPOO STINKFACE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PERFECT UTOPIA FOR ALL OF YOUR RUM-SWILLING, TOBACCO-SMUGGLING, AND SNORTING-LINES-OF-'LEGAL'-COKE-OFF-OF-A-THIRD-WORLD-BEAUTY'S REAR NEEDS! HOWEVER, WE WISH TO INFORM YOU OF A BRAND NEW DEVELOPMENT WITHIN THE TURDLIKE STATE THAT HAS COME ABOUT VIA THE GUIDANCE AND ETERNAL WISDOM OF THE SUPREME LEADER!!!!! FOR HE HAS DECREED THAT FROM NOW ON, ALL HOMELESS THAT BESMIRCH THE IMAGE OF THE STATE AND OF THE SUPREME LEADER, SHOULD THEY FAIL TO SHOW UP TO WORK FOR LACK OF FOOD OR TRANSPORTATION, OR SIMPLY REFUSE THE MAGNANIMOUS PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC'S ORDERS, THOSE MENTALLY-DERANGED, IMMORAL VERMIN SHALL BE SHOT ON SIGHT AND ERADICATED LIKE THE TRAITOROUS DOGS THEY ARE!!!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY, IN THE WEEK SINCE THE ETERNAL GENERALISSIMO'S MANDATE WAS BROADCAST TO THE ARMY, THE INCREASED RATE OF EXECUTIONS AND THE RAPIDLY DWINDLING NUMBER OF 1960'S ERA STOCKPILED AK ROUNDS PRESENT IN OUR ARMORIES HAVE BEGUN TO BECOME A DRAIN ON OUR COFFERS. COINCIDENTALLY, SOME OF DEAREST LEADER'S PETS ARE BEGINNING TO WONDER WHAT IT IS TRULY LIKE TO EXPERIENCE FLIGHT- THAT IS, THE FUN WAY.

THAT IS WHY, MY FELLOW COLLEAGUES AND ESTEEMED COLLECTORS OF RARE-VINTAGES-OF-DEAREST-LEADER'S-FINEST-BACKWASH, I HAVE DECIDED TO OPEN UP THE HITHERTO HEAVILY-GUARDED FRONTIERS FROM WHICH THE SUPREME GENERALISSIMO RADIATES HIS UBER-GODLY AURA OF EXTREME HOTNESS FROM TO ALL DISSIDENTS THAT NEED DISPOSAL* WITH DUE HASTE. TAKE THEM ON THE RIDE OF THEIR LIVES, LITERALLY, AND PONY UP TO TAKE A SCENIC ROUTE OVER THE OCEAN WITH PHATBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!

RUN BY THE MOST CAPABLE PILOTS IN ALL OF POOPOO STINKFACE (THAT IS, ALL 12 OF THEM), AND WITH WHAT THE DECADENT WALL STREET JOURNAL DECRIES AS 'ONLY' A COMBINED WEEK'S WORTH OF EXPERIENCE ON THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA'S BASIC ENGLISH LITERACY COURSE, OUR BRAVE AIRMEN WILL MAKE SURE THAT THEY WILL NEVER WANT TO REBEL OR SPEAK OUT AGAINST YOUR SERENE GODLINESSES FOREVERMORE!!!! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY, SEND THEM ON A DIVE TODAY!!!!! DON'T GO PRO, GO WITH PHATTBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!**

(*for a fee of course! We can give you a ballpark answer if you care to grease our palms or caress the EXALTED LEADER's Adonis-like feet.)
(**One-way tickets only. No refunds will be provided. Special rates available for groups!)

Terms and conditions apply. Feel free to check us out at: www.unclejohns.com/thelooroll/search/what+I+learned+from+yeeting+poor+kids+off+of+my+very+own+battle+bus.html! (featured article of the month)

I'm interested. Disposal of dissidents is fun.

Poopoo stinkface wrote:Transmission in progress...
Stand by...

"It's always hot from the deck!"

*kzZZzT*
DEAR FELLOW DICTATORS AND OLIGARCHS-IN-ARMS!!!

AS YOU MAY KNOW, the REPUBLIC OF POOPOO STINKFACE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PERFECT UTOPIA FOR ALL OF YOUR RUM-SWILLING, TOBACCO-SMUGGLING, AND SNORTING-LINES-OF-'LEGAL'-COKE-OFF-OF-A-THIRD-WORLD-BEAUTY'S REAR NEEDS! HOWEVER, WE WISH TO INFORM YOU OF A BRAND NEW DEVELOPMENT WITHIN THE TURDLIKE STATE THAT HAS COME ABOUT VIA THE GUIDANCE AND ETERNAL WISDOM OF THE SUPREME LEADER!!!!! FOR HE HAS DECREED THAT FROM NOW ON, ALL HOMELESS THAT BESMIRCH THE IMAGE OF THE STATE AND OF THE SUPREME LEADER, SHOULD THEY FAIL TO SHOW UP TO WORK FOR LACK OF FOOD OR TRANSPORTATION, OR SIMPLY REFUSE THE MAGNANIMOUS PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC'S ORDERS, THOSE MENTALLY-DERANGED, IMMORAL VERMIN SHALL BE SHOT ON SIGHT AND ERADICATED LIKE THE TRAITOROUS DOGS THEY ARE!!!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY, IN THE WEEK SINCE THE ETERNAL GENERALISSIMO'S MANDATE WAS BROADCAST TO THE ARMY, THE INCREASED RATE OF EXECUTIONS AND THE RAPIDLY DWINDLING NUMBER OF 1960'S ERA STOCKPILED AK ROUNDS PRESENT IN OUR ARMORIES HAVE BEGUN TO BECOME A DRAIN ON OUR COFFERS. COINCIDENTALLY, SOME OF DEAREST LEADER'S PETS ARE BEGINNING TO WONDER WHAT IT IS TRULY LIKE TO EXPERIENCE FLIGHT- THAT IS, THE FUN WAY.

THAT IS WHY, MY FELLOW COLLEAGUES AND ESTEEMED COLLECTORS OF RARE-VINTAGES-OF-DEAREST-LEADER'S-FINEST-BACKWASH, I HAVE DECIDED TO OPEN UP THE HITHERTO HEAVILY-GUARDED FRONTIERS FROM WHICH THE SUPREME GENERALISSIMO RADIATES HIS UBER-GODLY AURA OF EXTREME HOTNESS FROM TO ALL DISSIDENTS THAT NEED DISPOSAL* WITH DUE HASTE. TAKE THEM ON THE RIDE OF THEIR LIVES, LITERALLY, AND PONY UP TO TAKE A SCENIC ROUTE OVER THE OCEAN WITH PHATBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!

RUN BY THE MOST CAPABLE PILOTS IN ALL OF POOPOO STINKFACE (THAT IS, ALL 12 OF THEM), AND WITH WHAT THE DECADENT WALL STREET JOURNAL DECRIES AS 'ONLY' A COMBINED WEEK'S WORTH OF EXPERIENCE ON THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA'S BASIC ENGLISH LITERACY COURSE, OUR BRAVE AIRMEN WILL MAKE SURE THAT THEY WILL NEVER WANT TO REBEL OR SPEAK OUT AGAINST YOUR SERENE GODLINESSES FOREVERMORE!!!! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY, SEND THEM ON A DIVE TODAY!!!!! DON'T GO PRO, GO WITH PHATTBOTTOM'S HELICOPTER TOURS!!!!!**

(*for a fee of course! We can give you a ballpark answer if you care to grease our palms or caress the EXALTED LEADER's Adonis-like feet.)
(**One-way tickets only. No refunds will be provided. Special rates available for groups!)

Terms and conditions apply. Feel free to check us out at: www.unclejohns.com/thelooroll/search/what+I+learned+from+yeeting+poor+kids+off+of+my+very+own+battle+bus.html! (featured article of the month)

I want to invest in this and spend millions of Hyrivnas into this

Time once again for new resolutions in the WA.

First is Repeal “Freedom to Seek Medical Care II.” My attention was particularly drawn to the passage which states “Troubled by the poor wording of Clause 4, which prohibits a member nation from taking legal action against its medical tourists except for those violating World Assembly law, which could allow such tourists to evade domestic justice.” Tourism and healthcare are indeed major sectors for Matonis, and this loophole in the original resolution is deeply troubling. As such, I will vote FOR this repeal.

Second, the Security Council is voting to Commend Frieden-und Freudenland. Again, as First Administrator, I cannot in good conscience vote for a commendation of a nation that will not properly praise our DEAREST LEADER. I will be voting AGAINST.

Menta Lee-IL, Chuching, Destructive Government Economic System, Japhetia, and 6 othersHellkan, Christian american federation, Glorious psychotic britain, Langenia, Poopoo stinkface, and Cosmic Unity Church

Japhetia

Alba, the capitol of Japhetia:

Tossing and turning upon his bed, Germanicus "Caligula" Caesar II is delirious with the fever that has struck Japhetia. He stammers out to wildly words that are barely comprehensible. He suddenly sits upright with his eyes wide open, though a vacant sort of stare looks out of them. Hallucinating, Caligula sees the phantoms of the three fathers of the three branches of the royal family.

"Look what he did to my daughter! Look what he did to my daughter, he took her against her will. My land he has burned and my people he has slaughtered! My throne he wishes to steal from my son! Yet all that I would have forgiven him for in life, but I will not forget what he has done to my daughter. Look what he did to my daughter!" The ghost of Dodaneus, the father of the Dodanim Branch of the royal family points to Caligula as if accusing him to some unseen judge. The phantom appears as handsome Dodaneus looked when he was young, but his stomach is torn up as it was in death with his intestines dragging behind him.

"I saved him in the womb. I gave my life for his and his mother. Look in his head how he plots against my sons. This is how I am repaid? I will kill you!" The phantom of Ragnar, the former Elder of Magog and the father of the Ragnarsson Branch of the royal family manifests next to Dodaneus. His phantom is strong like it was in life, but covered in biting writhing snakes like it was in death when he sacrificed himself to free Caligula's mother whom was pregnant with Caligula at the time during the Gallic Wars. On Ragnar's strong ghost arms are tattooed the names of his surviving children; Beorn and Sigurd. Suddenly the ghost of Ragnar charges forward at Caligula and swings on him with both arms. Caligula lashes out at the hallucination from his bed, imagining that he breaks one of Ragnar's arms but the other arm catches his neck and forces him down to the bed. "These were more suited for you than they were for me." The ghost of Ragnar bellows and throws the phantasmal snakes off his body and on to Caligula.

Caligula screams and thrashes about his bed as he imagines being attacked by hundreds of vipers. Nurses and attendants calm him down and try to cool his burning fever. After some struggle the Elder of Gomer relaxes. Just as it seems like he is about to relax back into slumber he sits upright alert and looking around. He hears a voice he never knew, but that he has longed for all his life to call his name.

"Germanicus......my son." The phantom of Germanicus I, the father of Caligula whom is the sole survivor of the Caesarian Branch of the royal family appears before his son's eyes. His noble face looks on sadly at his son. The phantom is surrounded by fire, as in death he was immolated by the Gallic enemy nations human sacrificing him in a wickerman outfit.

"Father..." Germanicus II aka Caligula, breathes out and reaches his hand forward almost childlike trying to grasp his father that died before he was born.

"My son.....How could you become like this?" Germanicus I stares sadly back at Caligula shaking his head.

"Dodaneus and Ragnar, it's they and their children that are the enemy. They conspired against us father, they seek to supplant me!" Caligula cries back.

"My son because of what you have done, and what you will do.... our family's branch will end with you. Dodaneus will be the end of our lineage and Ragnar shall take your crown." Germancius I replies cryptically.

"No father I won't let them!" Caligula screams out and reaches forward trying desperately to embrace his father's ghost just once in his life. As his hand reaches his father, the ghostly flames consume Germanicus I. The hallucinated apparitions of the three fathers of the three branches of the royal family vanish.

Germanicus "Caligula" Caesar II falls into a deep sleep afterwards and his fever breaks during the night. Though he survives the fever, the young Elder of Gomer will never be the same after the disease. In the days following his recovery it is learned that Alexander had died just two days a go. Seeing his opportunity Germanicus "Caligula" Caesar II proclaims himself as Japhetia new Leader. Not even putting up the pretense of a regency like Alexander and Beorn tried, Caligula claims the title of Patriarch for himself outright, though he still lacks the proper ceremonial implements and authentication required to become Patriarch.

South reinkalistani ambassadorial staff

SHOCK! HORROR!

It was discovered by a surprise inspection on the Exterior Commissariat offices that the Reinkalistani Consulate to Psychotic Dictatorships had, to all intents and purposes, been insufficiently maintained to the point that it no longer possessed any capacity to communicate with the region. Rest assured, all responsible for this grievous transaction have been liquidated posthaste.

Following a clean-up job - slightly complicated by said liquidation - the Consulate is up and running again. The region of Psychotic Dictatorships is owed an apology for this oversight.

To ultimate tyranny,
Exterior Commissar Lakersk Turnov

Langenia wrote:I'm interested. Disposal of dissidents is fun.

Well not me.

Hellkan and Poopoo stinkface

I've been checking out the International Incidents forum, and I had an idea. I propose a military expedition against the North Korean regime. The objectives would be to overthrow Kim Jong-un and replace the pathetic ideology Juche with DEAREST LEADERISM! Not d*m*c*a*y, but DEAREST LEADERISM! Then we could dispose of Kim Jong-un. A group of nations already did something like this with the Syrian regime of Bashad al-Assad, except, they replaced failed Baathism with filthy d*m*c*a*y. What do you think? HAIL DEAREST LEADER!!!!!!!

Rock paper scissors with my cat

i got big dog status it aint no secret

Destructive Government Economic System, Hellkan, Christian american federation, and Poopoo stinkface

Poopoo stinkface

Langenia wrote:I've been checking out the International Incidents forum, and I had an idea. I propose a military expedition against the North Korean regime. The objectives would be to overthrow Kim Jong-un and replace the pathetic ideology Juche with DEAREST LEADERISM! Not d*m*c*a*y, but DEAREST LEADERISM! Then we could dispose of Kim Jong-un. A group of nations already did something like this with the Syrian regime of Bashad al-Assad, except, they replaced failed Baathism with filthy d*m*c*a*y. What do you think? HAIL DEAREST LEADER!!!!!!!

Why destroy that what you could reform? Kim Jong-Un is not a filthy d*mocrat, he is merely an effete pretender grasping the weakened levers of power at his disposal to ensure some modicum of control over his wonderfully impoverished country. If we were, instead, to stabilize his Hennessy and Fendi import flows in return for a sh*tton of coal, then the 'Supreme' Leader would truly be able to focus on running his peons and human resources at maximum capacity, thus demonstrating to the wider, decadent world that one-man rule is best rule.

Maybe we could nuke Seoul while we're at it. If we destroy K-Pop at its source, then no more annoyingly infuriating soap operas, infectiously catchy materialistic music, nor Choco Pies will be able to inculcate our personal slave armies with preconceived notions of 'liberty', 'fr**dom', or 'hum*n r*ghts'.

New resolutions in the WA:

First is Protecting Legal R*ghts of Workers. Without question, I will be voting AGAINST this proposal.

Next is Commend Trotterdam. I will also vote AGAINST.

Hail our DEAREST LEADER!

Poopoo stinkface wrote:Why destroy that what you could reform? Kim Jong-Un is not a filthy d*mocrat, he is merely an effete pretender grasping the weakened levers of power at his disposal to ensure some modicum of control over his wonderfully impoverished country. If we were, instead, to stabilize his Hennessy and Fendi import flows in return for a sh*tton of coal, then the 'Supreme' Leader would truly be able to focus on running his peons and human resources at maximum capacity, thus demonstrating to the wider, decadent world that one-man rule is best rule.

Maybe we could nuke Seoul while we're at it. If we destroy K-Pop at its source, then no more annoyingly infuriating soap operas, infectiously catchy materialistic music, nor Choco Pies will be able to inculcate our personal slave armies with preconceived notions of 'liberty', 'fr**dom', or 'hum*n r*ghts'.

Agreed. What does everyone else think?

Destructive Government Economic System, Japhetia, Hellkan, and Poopoo stinkface

Japhetia

Langenia wrote:Agreed. What does everyone else think?

(Personally I liked his proposition and thinking, but disagree on the ends. I enjoyed the noting that Kim Jong-Un of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has indeed plagiarized the ineffable image of DEAR LEADER!!! A weak pretender breaking the rules of DEAR LEADER'S INEFFABLE IMAGE!! Even worse he has taken to LARPing as the DEAR LEADER for the past years. Kim Jong-Un is a hardened hooligan who cannot be reformed of his crimes. Japhetia will hereby refer to him in this matter as the Doppleganger.

Japhetia being a fairly Religious stats ranked civilization would probably predict the downfall of the Doppleganger for his unutterable transgressions against both Heaven and Earth, but especially in his unforgivable transgression in daring to pretend and even mimic the appearance of the DEAR LEADER! His pathetic reign, while it did start promisingly with the bloodpurge of his political rivals, poetically most of his family, which Japhetia can certainly understand, that it has fizzled out whilst our DEAR LEADER is leading the realm of Glory in Worldwide condemnation and autocratic elitism par none. Their can be no equivocation in their reigns as to the superiority of DEAR LEADER AND ALL Psychotic Dictatorships!!! Really though in all this time the Doppleganger has really gone nowhere even with a detente from the mighty kingdom of the USA. Their poor Doppleganger is said to be in poor health unlike our exceedingly fit and Adonis-like DEAR LEADER WHOSE FACE SHINES AS THE SUN!!!!!! It is the belief of Japhetia's more religious and superstitious classes that Heaven from above and Earth from beneath will join forces to wipe the Doppleganger out of reality, responding with fierce indignation against the Doppleganger's pride in daring to dress up like DEAR LEADER!!!!! Therefore Japhetia will counsel to not side with the Doppleganger.)

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