by Max Barry

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«12. . .3,9983,9994,0004,0014,0024,0034,004. . .5,0515,052»

The weekend poetry contest has begun. This week Smiley Bob will judge your limericks.

The newsstand wrote:Dang, it's hot. Do you have an iced water?

*Puts down a glass of ice then pours bottled water into it*

Howard beale wrote:“Yeah, don’t worry.”

Good enough for me. *The penguin instructs a zombie to bring over a nectar*

The newsstand and Howard beale

Jehovahs witness

The Witness stirs from their slumber/nap, and places a piece of paper on the counter.

Here's my entry. It's a poetic form of one of the incidents my workers caused. Yes, I'm still miffed about it.

A drone looks to store a single file
They musn't look, the contents are vile
Yet, failures must fail
So they look beyond the veil
Boom goes everything within a mile

Smiley Bob, Feoras, Zombie Penguins, The newsstand, and 1 otherHoward beale

Zombie Penguins wrote:*Puts down a glass of ice then pours bottled water into it*

He gulped down some water and ice
On that hot day, it just was so nice
But he drank it so quick
It came straight out his d___
And his trousers got soaked through with
pice

Smiley Bob, could you help me out?

Smiley Bob, Feoras, Zombie Penguins, and Howard beale

The newsstand wrote:He gulped down some water and ice
On that hot day, it just was so nice
But he drank it so quick
It came straight out his d___
And his trousers got soaked through with
pice

Smiley Bob, could you help me out?

Oh my, that's quite an accident you had
But it really doesn't look all that bad
Take this newspaper here
And cover your rear
Hopefully no one looks toward your gonads.

Feoras, The newsstand, and Howard beale

The candy thieving weasel wrote:“Eagles may sore majestically in the sky, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.”
-funny yearbook quotes.

Doesn't that depend on how high you catapult the weasels?

Feoras, Drunkndisorderly, and Howard beale

Brocklandia wrote:Doesn't that depend on how high you catapult the weasels?

Good Point.

Howard beale

Brocklandia wrote:I'm from the rural Alabama/Georgia area originally. I understand exactly how right I am.

Now, that's just rude. Is there a category below Third World? Because there are a lot of nations that don't deserve to be placed on the same tier as Alabama.

Ptolemaicia wrote:Hail Laby of Feoras mistress of magic and commerce , I I'm King Logan XIV I don't believe I truly introduced my self. His majesty holds his hand over his breastplate with a bowing head in proper greeting. I have visited your Country many times your skytowers left me in awe, Have you ever been to Ptolemaicia?

The Lady inclines her head with proper deference. "I am honored to make your acquaintance. I believe it is possible that I have visited your country as I travel extensively, but the atmosphere of this place tends to make my mind foggy and I could not tell you with certainty the last time I was in Ptolemaicia."

Brocklandia and Howard beale

The candy thieving weasel

Brocklandia wrote:Doesn't that depend on how high you catapult the weasels?

*a scared weasel runs away*

Feoras wrote:Now, that's just rude. Is there a category below Third World? Because there are a lot of nations that don't deserve to be placed on the same tier as Alabama.
The Lady inclines her head with proper deference. "I am honored to make your acquaintance. I believe it is possible that I have visited your country as I travel extensively, but the atmosphere of this place tends to make my mind foggy and I could not tell you with certainty the last time I was in Ptolemaicia."

King Logan XIV face is hinden behind a geild mask but his eyes reveal a slight shock. You are in twines my Laby I suppose I should expect no less. This place 'a zoo at times, No'... I can only hope that my countryman were but tolerable upon your stay. (Cutting short to hold your hand) Now do tell me how does a Lady of your statue end up here.

This weekend's poem:

There once was a lady so fine
Her lips and caboose so divine
I walked up and said,
"Get a load of my head!"
And that's how I got this bruised jawline.

Ptolemaicia wrote:King Logan XIV face is hinden behind a geild mask but his eyes reveal a slight shock. You are in twines my Laby I suppose I should expect no less. This place 'a zoo at times, No'... I can only hope that my countryman were but tolerable upon your stay. (Cutting short to hold your hand) Now do tell me how does a Lady of your statue end up here.

"To be honest, Sire, I cannot recall with any precision my life before I first entered this establishment and I've come to believe that it's cursed, if we aren't in fact in Purgatory. That's why I've adapted as much as I can.

"How did you end up here?"

*walks in*

Feoras wrote:"To be honest, Sire, I cannot recall with any precision my life before I first entered this establishment and I've come to believe that it's cursed, if we aren't in fact in Purgatory. That's why I've adapted as much as I can.

"How did you end up here?"

"Purgatory!?! King Logan XIV laughs", " No More so then a heavn for the wicked if not hell it's self my Lady". I'm an exile , I myself was once in league with a proud Ultra right wing nationalists region. However I was to enthused, I gained to much power in the region's council. And so was eventually acussed of treason by no other then the leader himself. Only after being discredited from my appointed office of the Grand Elactor just a day later. I was put on a mockery of a trial and
deemed guiltiy. You seem to be brooding loft my Lady 'why so, ?

Hello fellow patrons: we have a new poll in Zentari, so come and vote!

Has Progress on Racial Equality Regress Over the Last 10 Years?

Also, I would like a Guinness please. I feel it is a stout day.

Zurkerx wrote:Hello fellow patrons: we have a new poll in Zentari, so come and vote!

Has Progress on Racial Equality Regress Over the Last 10 Years?

Also, I would like a Guinness please. I feel it is a stout day.

Its a stout day..la, la,la,laaaaaaaaaa

Guinness for our friend.

The candy thieving weasel

I protec
I attac
But most importantly
I ain’t no ferret

Feoras and Tercania islands

Tercania islands

The candy thieving weasel wrote:I ain’t no ferret

You're the more independent of the two.

The candy thieving weasel

Post self-deleted by Ptolemaicia.

Ptolemaicia wrote:"Purgatory!?! King Logan XIV laughs", " No More so then a heavn for the wicked if not hell it's self my Lady". I'm an exile , I myself was once in league with a proud Ultra right wing nationalists region. However I was to enthused, I gained to much power in the region's council. And so was eventually acussed of treason by no other then the leader himself. Only after being discredited from my appointed office of the Grand Elactor just a day later. I was put on a mockery of a trial and
deemed guiltiy. You seem to be brooding loft my Lady 'why so, ?

"Brooding? No. I'm simply made my peace with what has become my lot."

Brocklandia, Tercania islands, Ptolemaicia, and Howard beale

Feoras wrote:"How did you end up here?"

Judicial appointment. Which sounds better than "a court-mandated punishment for crimes committed," right?

Feoras, Tercania islands, and Howard beale

Feoras wrote:"Brooding? No. I'm simply made my peace with what has become my lot."

Hey, I warned you about that before you signed him up to a lifetime of irrevokable servitude. Ergo, it's not my fault that Maurice smells funny or that you're stuck with him.

Feoras, Howard beale, and Matthuvan union

Matthuvan union

Old Zealand

Brocklandia wrote:Hey, I warned you about that before you signed him up to a lifetime of irrevokable servitude. Ergo, it's not my fault that Maurice smells funny or that you're stuck with him.

Tell him to use the soap in the bar bathroom

The angry badger god

The Badger ruler has arrived.

Feoras, Brocklandia, and Howard beale

The angry badger god wrote:The Badger ruler has arrived.

Well, hello, grumpy deity de jour. What'll it be? We're having a special on pureed earthworm smoothies, and we have a fried ground-dwelling rodent dinner special too.

Uhm, you've had your rabies shots, right?

Howard beale and The angry badger god

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