The East PacificBoard

Mmkay my Bois.

I need some help with some story writing it's due tomorrow. So...

Quick plot:
Kocha, a quintessential honours student in a Japanese school in Hokkaido, finds this mysterious app that he finds one day and investigates it to find that the app has the ability to travel through time. Yada yada yada...

Basically, he finds a fellow student, named Akito, who has the same app and they decide to work together to prevent 'the future' where their hometown is found to be in shambles and have to prevent that future. Kocha is known to be introverted and focuses more on studying. This becomes his internal conflict in which he tries to get along with Akito. They discover that the headmaster eventually became this evil and corrupt person who rose from a measely headmaster to a dictator of the country. Kocha and Akito stop him in the climax but he notices the future doesn't change. It's revealed to the end that Akito is actually the cause of the future and used the time travel app to kill the people who looked down on her for revenge. This is where the protagonist suffers his defeat in the resolution.

Note, it needs to be a sci-fi story.

A few questions I have:
-Is there a lack of Sci-Fi elements?
-Is the Internal and External conflicts interesting?
-Could a follow-up story be set after this one?
-What scenes would be an interesting scene that I could write upon?

I send this message because I want to hand in a perfect story so I would be exempted from the final exams.

Please send me some great feedback. Anyways, thanks for reading.

Kampf Empire wrote:

Really. You think you can scare me? You.

c'mon Kampf don't be like that,he is just a fledgeling who recently moved in

Gorbastan wrote:

Mmkay my Bois.

I need some help with some story writing it's due tomorrow. So...

Quick plot:
Kocha, a quintessential honours student in a Japanese school in Hokkaido, finds this mysterious app that he finds one day and investigates it to find that the app has the ability to travel through time. Yada yada yada...

Basically, he finds a fellow student, named Akito, who has the same app and they decide to work together to prevent 'the future' where their hometown is found to be in shambles and have to prevent that future. Kocha is known to be introverted and focuses more on studying. This becomes his internal conflict in which he tries to get along with Akito. They discover that the headmaster eventually became this evil and corrupt person who rose from a measely headmaster to a dictator of the country. Kocha and Akito stop him in the climax but he notices the future doesn't change. It's revealed to the end that Akito is actually the cause of the future and used the time travel app to kill the people who looked down on her for revenge. This is where the protagonist suffers his defeat in the resolution.

Note, it needs to be a sci-fi story.

A few questions I have:
-Is there a lack of Sci-Fi elements?
-Is the Internal and External conflicts interesting?
-Could a follow-up story be set after this one?
-What scenes would be an interesting scene that I could write upon?

I send this message because I want to hand in a perfect story so I would be exempted from the final exams.

Please send me some great feedback. Anyways, thanks for reading.

Why is the hero defeated in the end?

Peatiktist wrote:

Don't belittle Kampf for doing his job.

Actually, do belittle him. Scaring new fledglings is my job.
Kampf is supposed to scare all the non-new fledglings.

Peat, you just lost islands to OU. You ain’t scary.

Gorbastan wrote:

My teacher wanted us to think about this story as a background story or flashback for a character in a made-up video game in which we'd write about why he has a certain goal inside the video game.

So in this case, he's burdened that he caused the destruction of his town and aims to stop Akito in the video game portion which we cannot write about.

I see. In that case be sure to write in crucial mistakes the hero makes so it makes sense for him to lose narratively.

Greater felter wrote:

Peat, you just lost islands to OU. You ain’t scary.

FOOL

HE WIELDS THE BANHAMMER!

_{oh wait that's paki sorry}

HE WIELDS THE SOCKHAMMER!*

Kampf Empire wrote:

True. But, I think I should revel in a little tradition. So....

-CRACK-

* With a single movement, both wings are broken, the bones snapped upwards, and left crooked, feathers flying and blood seeping out wounds caused by splinters puncturing the skin *

**snaps your neck, shoves a caber up you and then precedes to shove your head up your *ss, wraps your legs with your intestines then burns your liver and eats your heart an spleen*

Malayikat alfaragh wrote:

**snaps your neck, shoves a caber up you and then precedes to shove your head up your *ss, wraps your legs with your intestines then burns your liver and ears your heart an spleen*

* Just watches as you do all of that to Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich *

Malayikat alfaragh wrote:

**snaps your neck, shoves a caber up you and then precedes to shove your head up your *ss, wraps your legs with your intestines then burns your liver and eats your heart an spleen*

*explodes*

Malayikat alfaragh wrote:

**snaps your neck, shoves a caber up you and then precedes to shove your head up your *ss, wraps your legs with your intestines then burns your liver and eats your heart an spleen*

Weak. *Uses the

Peatiktist wrote:

Void spear

Peatiktist wrote:

I think we finally found someone who can be almost as gruesome as Kampf.

Basically dont poke a sleeping Dragon >.>