The Holy Empire of Headcrabians is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Nyarlathotep with an iron fist, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 21.17 billion Headcrabiansians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mega Therion. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Headcrabiansian economy, worth a remarkable 9,400 trillion corpses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 444,046 corpses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,150,470 per year while the poor average 4,104, a ratio of 1,011 to 1.

Stealing from a clothesline is a serious offence, whenever pilots have to bail out the government bails out their company, psychological disorders are a taboo subject, and no animal is considered endangered if there's another that looks kind of like it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Headcrabians's national animal is the human, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Forceful fornication with feti.

Headcrabians is ranked 283,519^th in the world and 10,851^st in Balder for Safest, scoring 4.18 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.