The Holy Empire of North historia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Moofoose with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.714 billion North historians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stirland. The average income tax rate is 46.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient North historian economy, worth 480 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 129,288 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars, the death penalty has been reintroduced, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age, and violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North historia's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

North historia is ranked 39,910^th in the world and 661^st in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 32.36 flags saluted per person per day.