The District of Cobb-Michelle is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Liard with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, unlimited-speed roads, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working population of 43.445 billion Districtors are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Industry, with Law & Order, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Cobb-Michellean economy, worth a remarkable 2,985 trillion aurums a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 68,707 aurums, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation excels at displacement, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, the Cobb-Michellean Tourism Bureau has described the abolition of coastal defences as a "kick to the groyne", and the only issue that Liard has is that there aren't enough issues (Cobb-Michelle has found 3 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cobb-Michelle's national animal is the bovina, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cobb-Michelle is ranked 138,605^th in the world and 29^th in Dog Lake for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.96 law-abiding acts per hour.