The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nijchhōh I with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.718 billion Kwandoites are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 96.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 4,382 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 374,005 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

The military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, athletes are renowned for being the best at maths, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation, and the only thing slower than the economy is the exchange where it's managed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the ass, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 279,980^th in the world and 1,277^th in Europeia for Safest, scoring 6.63 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.