The Awkward Adages of Geektopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nijchhōh I with an even hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.718 billion Kwandoites are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mordecai. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Geektopian economy, worth a remarkable 4,391 trillion cryptos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 374,761 cryptos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Ports have ground to a halt as no boat can reach them without trespassing, ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, the military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, and athletes are renowned for being the best at maths. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Geektopia's national animal is the ass, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Math.

Geektopia is ranked 280,649^th in the world and 1,281^st in Europeia for Safest, scoring 6.63 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.