The Eternal Misfortune of Iguanarctica is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, complete lack of prisons, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 21.333 billion Iguanarcticans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port Cosa. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Iguanarctican economy, worth a remarkable 9,352 trillion Reptilias a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 438,424 Reptilias, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward, interest rates mysteriously drop whenever the CBI Governor goes house hunting, the nation's forests are full of treasure hunters in military-grade survival gear, and women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. Crime is totally unknown. Iguanarctica's national animal is the Iguana, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Iguanarctica is ranked 45^th in the world and 2^nd in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Nicest Citizens, with 225.17 average smiles per day.