The Empire of Mittero is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Karl Friedrich VIII with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 3.875 billion Mitteroans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Mittero. The average income tax rate is 81.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mitteroan economy, worth 749 trillion Reichsthalers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 193,335 Reichsthalers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, businesses are abandoning the city centre because of the lack of transport connections, dinosaur breeders have a yabba-dabba-doo gay old time in Mittero, and Mittero's heavy congestion charges are the bane of motorists' lives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mittero's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Imperial Church of Mittero.

Mittero is ranked 15,340^th in the world and 420^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 53.84 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.