Post

Region: Renegade Islands Alliance

*Meanwhile, in Whippoorwill County, Pensyltuckee Island.......*
Deputy: *sitting with his feet up on the desk* *throwing darts at a dartboard on the wall*
*The door flies open and the sheriff walks in with a handcuffed man.*
Will: "Uncuff me immediately!! My lawyer is coming! He should've gotten off the plane half an hour ago!!"
Sheriff: "Hold your horses, I ain't even started with you."
Will: "I've done nothing wrong!!"
Sheriff: *gingerly sets the man down in a chair* *sits down across the table from him* "Well, I received word from those 2 fellers you were talkin' with at the bar yesterday. You got a little bit intoxicated and apparently said sumem about killin' your wife while y'all were out in the woods campin' and makin' it look like some sorta accident. One of them fellers is Jesse James Junior. Now Jesses James Junior is probably the most honest man around these parts. He couldn't tell a lie if his life depended on it. Hell, back when we was kids, I tried to start some sorta name for him but none of them couldn't hardly roll off the tongue too good. Couldn't hardly come up with something that began with J......... It's your word against his. Anyhow, you were reported to be sayin' *puts on his glasses and holds up a police report* "And I quote. 'I think I'll push her off one of those cliffs you guys have around here.'
Deputy: *pops open a Johnson Beer and takes a sip*
Will: "So you think I came all the way here from Wisconsin just to-"
*The door suddenly opens and a man wearing a suit walks in.*
"Will, do not say another word. Hello Sheriff, my name is John Kipley and I represent William. My client will say no further words at this time. We will discuss this later in court. Will, let's go."
Sheriff: "What in the world are you talkin' about?"
*Will stands up to leave.*
Sheriff: *pulls out his revolver* "Sit down."
John: "Sir, are you threatening my client? I will hold that against you in a court of law."
Sheriff: "Relax. I just need to get a little bit more info."
John: "Sir, the Miranda rights state that you are not allowed to interrogate my client without an attorney present if he so chooses. My client has the right to remain silent."
Deputy: *takes a sip* "Boy, for a lawyer, y'ain't gotta whole lotta knowledge 'boutcha."
John: "What do you mean?"
Sheriff: "There ain't no wordin' that says 'at in any sorta lawbook in all of Pensyltuckee."
Will: "What?!"
Sheriff: "Y'all'er welcome to talk amongst y'allselves afterwards, and of course, there is the court date. Alexis, the wife'll be there standin' testimony to the divorce and whatnot. Y'all'll also have y'all's say then and there. But right now, I'm a goin' to ask Willie here some questions. Plus you said your presence is required and you are currently standin' here, right before right now, so I don't see the issue here."
John: "The whole point of my presence is for consultation."
Deputy: "So you can talk him out of this?"
John: *stares at the deputy* *scowls*
Sheriff: "Anyway...." *looks at the paper* "What've you got to say for yourself, Mr. Gramer?"
Will: "We're just going on a nice camping trip in the backwoods of Pensyltuckee Island. I don't actually want to kill my wife. We have a great marriage and-"
John: "Will, stop talking."
Sheriff: "Okay, you may sit down and shut up. Or else I will have Deputy Dozier arrest you for.... impedin' justice." *turns to the deputy* "That's a thing, right?"
Deputy: "Mmm, yeah." *nods his head* *takes a sip of Johnson Beer*
Sheriff: "Anyway.. You say that, but I called up them courthouse records and apparently, y'all are filin' for divorce on the grounds of you bein' some sorta abusive psychopath. And it looks as if she'd be a gettin' a good chunka stuff after the split. Now what've you gotta say about that?"
*1 week later....*
*A group of prisoners chained together is being led aboard a bus at the Springfield Penitentiary to go break rocks at a Slashville quarry.*
Will: *sighs* *walks aboard the bus*

You are still doing them, huh? :P

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