The Free Land of Waffia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fomgel Renlaar with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, lack of airports, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.528 billion Waffians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bikkelbil. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Waffian economy, worth a remarkable 3,350 trillion Waffian Bikkels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 180,838 Waffian Bikkels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Passionate nomination battles are often as intense as general elections, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms, and stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues. Crime is totally unknown. Waffia's national animal is the Adélie penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Waffia is ranked 282,919^th in the world and 15^th in Banaanvraag for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -12.2 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.