The Empire of Great Bartholomew is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Jack I with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.132 billion Bartholomewians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Floricia. The average income tax rate is 67.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Great Bartholomewian economy, worth 198 trillion Golden Lire a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 92,926 Golden Lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Arbitration is mightier than the sword, scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied Bartholomew Golden Lion, people believe that if you teach a man to fish he won't buy fish from you any more, and directors of low-budget sci-fi films are flocking to use Floricia as a backdrop. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Great Bartholomew's national animal is the Bartholomew Golden Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christian.

Great Bartholomew is ranked 93,560^th in the world and 2,114^th in The East Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.