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«12. . .43,08543,08643,08743,08843,08943,09043,091. . .79,58779,588»

Kavanos wrote:1. Read this if you are a newcomer:
Hola youngins. Welcome to NS and TEP

Here are your first steps...

Join the WA: page=un

Endorse Libertanny our delegate and leader

Endorse the Viziers and Regional Officers by clicking here

Gain more rights to troll without being kicced out by cliccing Linkhere

Endorse me if u feel like it

Look at the play maps we have:

page=dispatch/id=1389645


Here's a general guide to the nature of each map, and what you'll experience if u join:

Urth roleplay works very slowly. It's on the TEP forums, which is a separate site and takes a while to understand

Valsora is an old and stable RP map. If you want to be sure to have a long game life for your nation, this is your choice. It also has the most war of all the maps, and a lot of options for diplomacy and exploration

Windsor is somewhat like a text version of Civilization 5. Economics, diplomacy and politics is more in depth than Valsora, and war isn't as frequent. Currently it's sort of dead, so make sure there is activity on Windsor before joining by messaging Volinovia or [nation]Technocratic Tagalog.[/nation]

Courisia is an older version of Windsor. Unfortunately, it's close to dead right now

Outside joining an RP map, the most common game action is to answer the issues that pop up. Depending on your answers, your nation's stats change and the kind of fictional country you want to build is modified

Note that NS issues are not that serious. You can answer an issue seriously and get ridiculous results. Just take it as a joke, chuckle and continue answering : ) Try to be #1 at different things and show off like Virgolia or try to be as turrible as possible and make jokes about it on RMB like the awful Wiranath


Things you can do with roleplay and world creation do are:

1. create imaginative worlds (history, religion, technology, civilizations, etc) for your fictional nation and states, cities and people
2. create graphics national or region flags, emblems, countryballs, anthems, poetry, comics or art that's related to your imagined nations
3. create short stories, longer stories or even novels alone or with others on RMB
4. create your own map and invite others to join

And then, my special brand of RMB funz...


5. make jokes and troll people (my job! MINE!)
6. worship the Lord of the Blessed Corn and be forever enriched with popcorn
7. Bother other n00bies with this dispatch when they first say 'im new here how do I play]


Here are the 5 cardinal rules of RmB:

1. Don't triple post (posting 3 times in a row). Double posting is okay, but not recommended. After you make a post, do check the RMB (the place where you're reading this) and wait for someone else to post. Then make your next post

2a. No advertisements for regions. This region is TEP, and we use the [region][/region] tag like The East Pacific. To be on the safe side, don't link to any regions.

2b. No advertising for sites. You can post imgur images or Youtube links and so on, but don't go 'Oh, this site is awesome! You have to join' and then link us to your uncle's fairly-illegal questionably-human-rights-violating sweatshop

3. Don't directly insult people or seriously troll to truly hurt or offend people. Trolling should be done in a fun, joking manner (if you want to know more, sign up for my Trolling 101 class on Udemy)

4. Don't spam with meaningless posts. Example include but are not exclusive to:
a. Foreign languages without translation
b. A bunch of emojis
c. A bunch of ASCII art or Lennies (sniff)
d. Single or double meaningless words
e. Any kind of copypasta
f. Dots or 'bump'

5. Don't make sexual references of any kind. You will find some very slight pg-13ish material here and there, but please watch the RMB for a week before figuring out where the line is.

If you follow these simple rules, you'll have lots of time to learn rest as u go. Have fun!

For more pedantic information, click here:

page=dispatch/id=1075631

Read dispatch

Newcomer pings:Nordicla
Wolne podlasie
North east deutshescandia
Iostros

You are doing amazingly at this

Everybody give the TEP janitor nation=neue_leipzig some love and endos

Fourth day, 6:20 AM
Four days after the Treaty of Paragould, and two days of a journalist doing her job, Miladena is currently still sleeping, having a not-so-sweet dream, but is pretty comfortable sleeping while relaxing from stressful jobs. Her smartphone vibrates, along with a 1980's song 'Working for the weekend' playing, it is an alarm set up by her to wake up. Miladena Popov wakes up slowly, with her eyes not opening yet due to her sleep being rudely interrupted. She opens her eyes, but only slightly, then picks up her phone and turns off the alarm, yawning shortly after. She stands up from the bed, going to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Two minutes later, her teeth are whiter than yesterday and moment she woke up. Miladena, after changing clothes, walks down the stairs of her house, approaching the kitchen.

As she makes coffee with her... coffee maker, her phone rings, it's Kovac calling her, so she answers. - "Good morning." - Her tone is a bit tired.

- "Good morning, Popov." - Greeted Kovac on his phone. - "Today I have some great news." - He said, sounding like he said it proudly.

- "Do I get my salary?" - Miladena immediately assumed, desperate to get payed after she almost got abducted yesterday.

- "You sure are a desperate woman." - Said Kovac. - "Yes, you are getting a salary today. Just don't question about your salary too much next time, or they'll call you a greedy capitalist pig." - Responded Kovac, giving Miladena a warning.

- "Sir, I only asked once today, but thank you anyways." - Said Miladena, finishing her coffee and taking a sip so she doesn't fall asleep again. She then goes to the living room, where there is a television.

- "Yeah, I'm kidding." - Claimed Kovac, before being serious. - "Seriously though, there's another thing I want to tell you. Today you get a break, however, tomorrow you'll go uncovering the stories of family reunion in the libera- uh, annexed lands." -

- "That's... something and all, but it's not wrong to call the areas "Liberated Lands", they are ethnic majorities of us anyway." - Miladena turns on the flatscreen TV, which is of course 'smart technology' as well, she switches to the Gradvest News channel to see what Kovac told people to broadcast. - "By the way, I'm having a little fun on watching the channel of your studios, Kovac." - She smiles.

- "Well, thanks for watching!" - He imitates an internet video channel owner's voice. - "That is all I'm going to say, make sure to come today at twelve PM to receive your salary." - Says Kovac.

- "Goodbye." -

- "Bye!" - Kovac hangs up.

Miladena sighs, sure, she gets a break today, but does she want to drive far away again with her car? Well, her job is journalism, so that is pretty fine. The channel she's watching finishes broadcasting the footage of the interview she captured, only for it to start broadcasting a humanitarian crisis in mainland Kurikia that makes the one in Spokoyreka look like a baby's first steps, meaning it is a lot worse. - "Poor bastards." - She said to herself, commenting the situation in Kurikia, she lives in a horrid planet, but that's how it is.

10 minutes after the Kurikian crisis and interview broadcasts, it switches to a Gorbastani state-owned company building a factory with a naval port inside Sminishia, and then a parade being planned in Novvy Sotsialny' Gorod, both civilian and military. With the civilian one resembling celebrations of families and ethnic brothers and sisters reunifying with them, while the military one resembling victory over the war. Miladena hopes those people don't glorify war in general, cause if so, she will be pissed off.

Novvy Sotsialny' Gorod. 11:00 AM

In the streets of the capital and largest city of Sminishia, a celebration is already going on. Dozens of bars are filled with cheers and singings while vodka bottles clash, barbeques being set up in house backyards, people waving the flags of the country, and even civilian parades in some streets. They know they are 4 days late to celebrate, but it's better late than never to express happiness. Not all people are celebrating though, as families mourn and express their sadness on their relatives who joined the military and died fighting to serve the country, some wives of dead soldiers even started crying.

Military parade.

The Sminishian military, after civilians were finished from doing festive parades, now march on the streets. With the first line being old models of the Sminishian People's Army, which were brown and white uniforms of soldiers holding old submachine guns and AK rifles while tanks with thin armor were rolling. They have a marching band behind them, so it makes music for the soldiers to gladly march. After lines from older to newer models, a line of completely modern models march, with combat vests, assault rifles and even thick armored tanks with computing systems march on the streets.

After all the parades, some people nationwide in Sminishia offered welfare and jobs for ones who live in the so-called "Liberated Lands", even offering them equal and fair payment. People even give speeches about why war should not be glorified, showing footage of war torn cities and refugees flocking to other areas.

OOC: I know this is shorter than all other parts, but whatever. I think I'll finally work in Part 1 of Episode 2 either today or tomorrow. The next episode will have a different theme other than the "Liberated lands".

Gorbastan, Osterreich und ungarn, Dreamersistan, Merlovich, and 8 othersAivintis, Brethren, Kurikia, Of Centralist Brexit, Kavanos, The fake news of london, Belekria, and Tigresses

Great algerstonia wrote:You missed a prime rickrolling opportunity there, fam

Getting stickbugged is a much better alternative.

Undisclosed Location

The underground tavern was brimming to life with opposition militia men, which if were not careful, would find themselves six foot in the ground with dirt being shoveled on top of them. Each and every one of them came to this hole-in-the-wall joint for a reason: to celebrate. Sitting on a barstool closest to a fourty-inch flatscreen, which played the morning news, sat Antonius Kosloski, the one who will be responsible for all of this. He looked down at the mug of whiskey he was drinking from. Who knows, this may be his last one if he doesn't play his cards right. In his pocket, he fumbled with a small keypad. He fished it out and examined it. It was a grey phone from the early 2000's, where the only thing on it was a number pad, a small screen and a power button. Antonius took a swig of his whiskey and stood with the mug and phone in both hands.

He tapped the phone against the glass and the room fell silent. All eyes were fixed on him. "You all know why we're here," he started. "We've been fighting for change for the past two months and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. It's time we let the feds know we want reform." Antonius raised his glass. "This is a risky move, and it will most likely get us killed, but at least the future generations may thank us if we're successful. A toast to the Organization."

The men raised their glasses. "To the Organization!" Antonius smirked and turned and looked towards the TV. Everyone was fixed to the TV and was riddled with excitement. Antonius looked down at the phone. Once he pushes in the number, there's no going back. He took a deep breath.

47201

He lowered the phone and waited. Two minutes later, the news switched to a view of Melilyna City, a sprawling slum city on the southern coast, with a huge plume of smoke rising from the street. "Breaking news on the southern coast, we had just received reports on a massive detonation in Melilnya City..." The news report was drowned out from the cheers and hoops of the men behind him. Now that he's in the moment, he didn't understand it. Why is this necessary? Why is he the one doing it? He took a peek over his shoulder. Over sixty men were crammed in the small bar, all cheering, singing and taking celebratory shots. It was a sick sight.

Though he dreaded the thought of continuing, it had to be done. He looked down at the phone.

39168

Antonius looked at the TV. In an instant, a blinding flash appeared for half a second and was hidden by a white ball of air. It expanded outwards, revealing a large and intimidating black plume of smoke and ash that rose well over a hundred feet. The men in the bar got louder. Antonius' head began to ache. He took a final swig of his whiskey and left the bar. It was a sick act of terrorism that he didn't condone. But he was only doing his job. If he hadn't of took up the opportunity, he knew someone would just replace him and detonate those cobalt bombs.

He was only taking orders.

Office of Mateusz Tkaczyk, Tylissellium Bay

The red phone practically rang straight off the hook. Today wasn't the day for Mateusz. Papers were being stacked at ceiling height, his schedule was overbooked and Congress had cursed him for intervening in the Levantine war. He was on the verge of a mental snap. He threw his pen down and picked up the phone. "Mateusz. You better have a damn good story for blowing up this phone." A panicked voice came from over the phone. "Mr. Tkaczyk, it's important, th-"

"What, the Western Territory is having riots again?" Mateusz retorted. The panicked voice picked up again. "No sir, it's-"

"Have the universities found another 'breakthrough' in technology?"

"Goddamnit Mateusz, listen to me for Christ's sake!" Mateusz fell silent. He was actually intrigued. "Go on."

"Two bombs were detonated over a slum city. Ankobrystan is under attack."

The silence in Mateusz's office was deafening.

Breaking News: Two bombs detonated over Melilnya City

Around 9:00 this morning, two massive bombs were detonated in the streets of Melilnya City, a large slum city on the southern coast. No deaths or injuries were reported just yet, however that will remain imminent. At 9:32, Mateusz Tkaczyk declared his remorse for the city and has stated that, "No further actions like this will be tolerated by the First Order and will be punishable by death." Tkaczyk said that police and National Guard will be permitted to detain suspicious individuals for interrogation. He also announced that an international summit he had planned will be postponed until the situation dies down. He expresses his sorry to the diplomats and leaders that have taken the time to put aside some time towards the summit.

Shavara, Osterreich und ungarn, Dreamersistan, Volinovia, and 3 othersLevantin, Of Centralist Brexit, and Tigresses

Osterreich und ungarn

Pakitsk, did that bot get broken? If so, then you should’ve telegrammed me! Also, who was it?!

watching peat and azach in quote wars is going to entertain me for at least the next 5 minutes

The fake news of london

Euricanis wrote:watching peat and azach in quote wars is going to entertain me for at least the next 5 minutes

wow, that was a fast 5 minutes

Dreamersistan wrote:All of u are below average writers. But you roleplay better than anyone but the one and only Kampfito. Playing villians needs real RP skills, u even annoy me sometimes with ur persona : ) And i'd say u keep RP worlds alive because you're ready to play the villian. In all dramatic writing, the villians/antagonists are more important or equally important to the heroes/protagonists. You play a very good, very annoying, very proactive antagonist

In terms of RP skill subgroups, the best tactician was Charity, the best current voice is OU's. The best worldbuilding overall was NC and the person with no weaknesses (including consistency) is Shavara. Kampf still has the best voice and RPing i've seen anywhere on TEP RMB but he's not active so..

You are a different sort of successor to Kampf

Now, as to best comic and troll..

<preens in mirror>

<sees Wiranath holding my trophy>

No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fair enough. I think that's mostly because I RP with the mindset of a troll. Its all about causing chaos and pissing off major powers, which I think I have done a pretty good job at.

Although Kampf in his prime brought a very different feel to RP. People were scared to death that he would invade and destroy them. He brought terror to the RP. You couldn't even poke fun at him lest he burn your cities and slaughter your people.

In my case, the general reaction is "Ahhh why won't this mf fricking die already?"

Euricanis, Shavara, and Dreamersistan

Ancobristan wrote:

Undisclosed Location

The underground tavern was brimming to life with opposition militia men, which if were not careful, would find themselves six foot in the ground with dirt being shoveled on top of them. Each and every one of them came to this hole-in-the-wall joint for a reason: to celebrate. Sitting on a barstool closest to a fourty-inch flatscreen, which played the morning news, sat Antonius Kosloski, the one who will be responsible for all of this. He looked down at the mug of whiskey he was drinking from. Who knows, this may be his last one if he doesn't play his cards right. In his pocket, he fumbled with a small keypad. He fished it out and examined it. It was a grey phone from the early 2000's, where the only thing on it was a number pad, a small screen and a power button. Antonius took a swig of his whiskey and stood with the mug and phone in both hands.

He tapped the phone against the glass and the room fell silent. All eyes were fixed on him. "You all know why we're here," he started. "We've been fighting for change for the past two months and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. It's time we let the feds know we want reform." Antonius raised his glass. "This is a risky move, and it will most likely get us killed, but at least the future generations may thank us if we're successful. A toast to the Organization."

The men raised their glasses. "To the Organization!" Antonius smirked and turned and looked towards the TV. Everyone was fixed to the TV and was riddled with excitement. Antonius looked down at the phone. Once he pushes in the number, there's no going back. He took a deep breath.

47201

He lowered the phone and waited. Two minutes later, the news switched to a view of Melilyna City, a sprawling slum city on the southern coast, with a huge plume of smoke rising from the street. "Breaking news on the southern coast, we had just received reports on a massive detonation in Melilnya City..." The news report was drowned out from the cheers and hoops of the men behind him. Now that he's in the moment, he didn't understand it. Why is this necessary? Why is he the one doing it? He took a peek over his shoulder. Over sixty men were crammed in the small bar, all cheering, singing and taking celebratory shots. It was a sick sight.

Though he dreaded the thought of continuing, it had to be done. He looked down at the phone.

39168

Antonius looked at the TV. In an instant, a blinding flash appeared for half a second and was hidden by a white ball of air. It expanded outwards, revealing a large and intimidating black plume of smoke and ash that rose well over a hundred feet. The men in the bar got louder. Antonius' head began to ache. He took a final swig of his whiskey and left the bar. It was a sick act of terrorism that he didn't condone. But he was only doing his job. If he hadn't of took up the opportunity, he knew someone would just replace him and detonate those cobalt bombs.

He was only taking orders.

Office of Mateusz Tkaczyk, Tylissellium Bay

The red phone practically rang straight off the hook. Today wasn't the day for Mateusz. Papers were being stacked at ceiling height, his schedule was overbooked and Congress had cursed him for intervening in the Levantine war. He was on the verge of a mental snap. He threw his pen down and picked up the phone. "Mateusz. You better have a damn good story for blowing up this phone." A panicked voice came from over the phone. "Mr. Tkaczyk, it's important, th-"

"What, the Western Territory is having riots again?" Mateusz retorted. The panicked voice picked up again. "No sir, it's-"

"Have the universities found another 'breakthrough' in technology?"

"Goddamnit Mateusz, listen to me for Christ's sake!" Mateusz fell silent. He was actually intrigued. "Go on."

"Two bombs were detonated over a slum city. Ankobrystan is under attack."

The silence in Mateusz's office was deafening.

Breaking News: Two bombs detonated over Melilnya City

Around 9:00 this morning, two massive bombs were detonated in the streets of Melilnya City, a large slum city on the southern coast. No deaths or injuries were reported just yet, however that will remain imminent. At 9:32, Mateusz Tkaczyk declared his remorse for the city and has stated that, "No further actions like this will be tolerated by the First Order and will be punishable by death." Tkaczyk said that police and National Guard will be permitted to detain suspicious individuals for interrogation. He also announced that an international summit he had planned will be postponed until the situation dies down. He expresses his sorry to the diplomats and leaders that have taken the time to put aside some time towards the summit.

Good post.
What does Antonius look like?

Levantin wrote:Fair enough. I think that's mostly because I RP with the mindset of a troll. Its all about causing chaos and pissing off major powers, which I think I have done a pretty good job at.

Although Kampf in his prime brought a very different feel to RP. People were scared to death that he would invade and destroy them. He brought terror to the RP. You couldn't even poke fun at him lest he burn your cities and slaughter your people.

In my case, the general reaction is "Ahhh why won't this mf fricking die already?"

Repeating what I say doesn't serve any purpose. Right now, you're an incentive for others to 'roleplay' because of your 'roleplay'. You aren't an Iraqi warlord, are you? But your RPing as an iraqi warlord even as a pest morphs other children from OOC cringe conversationalists and a non-descript group friends casually chatting into online bloodthirsty world leaders and scarily co-ordinated tacticians and Machievellian schemers

You make that happen

Thus you're the best role player NOW. Kampf was a lot better

You are not worthy of him you infidel pretender!

Shavara, Levantin, and Tigresses

Dreamersistan wrote:All of u are below average writers. But you roleplay better than anyone but the one and only Kampfito. Playing villians needs real RP skills, u even annoy me sometimes with ur persona : ) And i'd say u keep RP worlds alive because you're ready to play the villian. In all dramatic writing, the villians/antagonists are more important or equally important to the heroes/protagonists. You play a very good, very annoying, very proactive antagonist

In terms of RP skill subgroups, the best tactician was Charity, the best current voice is OU's. The best worldbuilding overall was NC and the person with no weaknesses (including consistency) is Shavara. Kampf still has the best voice and RPing i've seen anywhere on TEP RMB but he's not active so..

You are a different sort of successor to Kampf

Now, as to best comic and troll..

<preens in mirror>

<sees [nation]wiranath[nation] holding my trophy>

No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Realizes this.

I know no weaknesses.

Dreamersistan wrote:You aren't an Iraqi warlord, are you?

Bold of you to assume that

Shavara wrote:Realizes this.

I know no weaknesses.

Yes, you are stronkest now overall. OU is most talented in any situation but his nation isn't at the level yours is

Levantin wrote:Bold of you to assume that

I have some iraqi blood, and I can tell.

You're less Iraqi than Uday Hussein's Serbian concubines

<ROFL>

Levantin wrote:Bold of you to assume that

i really hope no one ever has to ask "you aren't an iraqi warlord, right?" ever again

Shavara, Levantin, Of Centralist Brexit, and Tigresses

Digs into map room.

Looks at map.

Digs back out.

Shavara wrote:Good post.
What does Antonius look like?

a younger and slavic version of Fidel Castro.

Dreamersistan wrote:Yes, you are stronkest now overall. OU is most talented in any situation but his nation isn't at the level yours is

I have some iraqi blood, and I can tell.

You're less Iraqi than Uday Hussein's Serbian concubines

<ROFL>

Lmao

Uday Hussein was crazy.

Kylondia wrote:Digs into map room.

Looks at map.

Digs back out.

are you going to do a post like this every time you log in

Euricanis wrote:are you going to do a post like this every time you log in

Yes. Deal with it.

Levantin wrote:Lmao

Uday Hussein was crazy.

He was. A lot of people wanted to kill him for so many years. People wanted him to be made to suffer a thousand reincarnations where his life would be nothing more than being torn to shreds, heavily flavored with sea salt and eaten by sloppy carnivorous monsters

Dreamersistan wrote:He was. A lot of people wanted to kill him for so many years. People wanted him to be made to suffer a thousand reincarnations where his life would be nothing more than being torn to shreds, heavily flavored with sea salt and eaten by sloppy carnivorous monsters

That's an oddly descriptive punishment.

But yeah...

Talitoa wrote:Truth is, THE GAME WAS RIGGED FROM THE START!

*I shoot Wirrabuk.*

You're crying in the rain, paley. Maybe the Khans kill without looking you in the eyes, but I ain't a fink, dig? From where you're kneeling, this probably looks like a 15 carat run of bad luck. Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

Antarctic SARNZ wrote:That's just how it goes. House Always Wins.

Imo, this aged well.

https://youtu.be/cVHreGgTJEM

👀

«12. . .43,08543,08643,08743,08843,08943,09043,091. . .79,58779,588»

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