The Commonwealth of Screwedlandia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Some Dumbass with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.734 billion Screwedlandians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hell. The average income tax rate is 91.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Screwedlandian economy, worth 454 trillion guilders a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,846 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The possibility of gain causes universal pain, it turns out that you actually can put a price on intangible cultural heritage, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals, and politicians stage photo ops featuring barely functional fighter jets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Screwedlandia's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Screwedlandia is ranked 9,128^th in the world and 12^th in Equiterra for Highest Food Quality, scoring 167.09 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.