The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 20.141 billion Pencil Sharpeners live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals keep a keen eye out for any attempt to organize such a thing, and ruthlessly crush it. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pencilpolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The imploded Pencil Sharpener economy, worth 112 billion Pencil Shavings a year, defies classification, with the entire state effectively one black market. Average income is 5 Pencil Shavings, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 38 per year while the poor average 0.3, a ratio of 129 to 1.

Blocked storm drains cause sanitation problems, the smell of tobacco is often smelt around legislative buildings across the nation, interest in globalism never flags, and surfers ride tsunamis of record height and toxicity. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Pencil Sharpeners's national animal is the Pencil, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pencil Sharpeners is ranked 290,672^nd in the world and 66^th in Nudist Dreamland for Highest Food Quality, scoring 2.63 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.