The Ⓐⓤⓣⓞⓝⓞⓜⓞⓤⓢ Ⓐⓖⓡⓐⓡⓘⓐⓝ Ⓒⓞⓜⓜⓤⓝⓔⓢ of Baldwin Park is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.814 billion Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓔⓡⓢ have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚ. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓘⓐⓝ economy, worth a remarkable 2,525 trillion Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 323,193 Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, and waste is frequently shipped to other countries. Crime is totally unknown. Baldwin Park's national animal is the Ⓑⓛⓐⓒⓚ Ⓒⓗⓘⓒⓚⓔⓝ, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ⓑⓤⓓⓓⓗⓘⓢⓜ.

Baldwin Park is ranked 2,462^nd in the world and 1^st in Hell for Nicest Citizens, with 66.83 average smiles per day.