The Ⓐⓤⓣⓞⓝⓞⓜⓞⓤⓢ Ⓐⓖⓡⓐⓡⓘⓐⓝ Ⓒⓞⓜⓜⓤⓝⓔⓢ of Baldwin Park is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.809 billion Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓔⓡⓢ have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚ. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓘⓐⓝ economy, worth a remarkable 2,521 trillion Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 322,930 Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, and barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚ Natural History Museum. Crime is totally unknown. Baldwin Park's national animal is the Ⓑⓛⓐⓒⓚ Ⓒⓗⓘⓒⓚⓔⓝ, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ⓑⓤⓓⓓⓗⓘⓢⓜ.

Baldwin Park is ranked 10,392^nd in the world and 10^th in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 100.39 law-abiding acts per hour.