The Democratic Republic of Dakalian is a massive, safe nation, ruled by First Minister Tollison Hops with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.418 billion Dakalianites are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Waller-Bridge. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Dakalianite economy, worth 957 trillion vegas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 216,634 vegas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, the acceptance of acupuncture and other alternative therapies has needled the scientific community, and workers for the environmental protection agency are patted down for tartar sauce every morning. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dakalian's national animal is the kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Day Drinking.

Dakalian is ranked 285,432^nd in the world and 5,237^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 0.29 flags saluted per person per day.