The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 38.736 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth an astonishing 48,195 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,244,209 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nine out of ten citizens of Despoticania answered 'nuclear safety inspector' when asked their occupation, the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Despoticania after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax, and citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 4,759^th in the world and 6^th in The Alliance of Dictators for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,409.86 pounds of wildlife per square mile.