The United Nations of Opiachus is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Secretary-General Lee with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, unlimited-speed roads, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 8.754 billion Opians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government prioritizes Education, with Defense, Industry, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Opiachus. The average income tax rate is 36.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Opian economy, worth a remarkable 1,151 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 131,595 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, sex-ed is child's play, and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Opiachus's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Opiachus is ranked 241,135^th in the world and 17^th in Free Market Federation for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 46.62 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.