The Kingdom of Aresetia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by King Antoine II of Tyre with an iron fist, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, anti-smoking policies, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.022 billion Aresetians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hiosianis. The average income tax rate is 57.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aresetian economy, worth 90.8 trillion Ptinás a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 88,873 Ptinás, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The price of takeaway food quadruples after 6pm, the most common doctor's prescription is "get out of my consulting room", hospitals in Aresetia are too busy serving the needs of Europe to see Aresetians, and giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aresetia's national animal is the Aánis, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Greek Catholicism.

Aresetia is ranked 183,916^th in the world and 909^th in Europe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 328.72 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.