The Merchant Emirate of New Caitarea is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its smutty television, national health service, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.907 billion New Caitari are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Qæterinsburg. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Caitarean economy, worth a remarkable 8,050 trillion marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is a breathtaking 540,029 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

School nurse's offices feature full-service operating suites, Leader's reputation is hard as nails, only the richest get to see out of their windows, and all work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Caitarea's national animal is the canary, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Islam.

New Caitarea is ranked 3,293^rd in the world and 169^th in Osiris for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 3,327.68 on the Clooney Contribution Index.