The Allied States of Phil the beach pirate is a gargantuan, safe nation, notable for its compulsory military service, state-planned economy, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 27.765 billion Phil the beach pirateans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 50.9%.

The strong Phil the beach piratean economy, worth a remarkable 1,403 trillion dubloons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is 50,565 dubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

College students make ends meet by selling their kidneys, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, elections have been outlawed, and Animal Liberationists are regularly jailed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phil the beach pirate's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Phil the beach pirate is ranked 86,851^st in the world and 17^th in Florida for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 2,827.16 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.