The Empire Government Department of Patrivus is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Andreas Von Welfen-Hohenzollern with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.191 billion german patrinivis are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Berlin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Patrivusian economy, worth 500 trillion Reich landmarks a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 156,803 Reich landmarks, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Diabetics find the contents of their medications hard to stomach, the government has the power to seize property at will, decreased demand for toilets is saving the prison service a lot of money, and bags of fertiliser come with detailed instructions for not making explosives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Patrivus's national animal is the Prussian Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Order of the Black Sun.

Patrivus is ranked 278,789^th in the world and 1,358^th in Europe for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 31.56 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.