The Republic of Soirwren is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 12.377 billion Soirwrenians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Soigné. The average income tax rate is 81.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Soirwrenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,112 trillion credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. Average income is 89,869 credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up, lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post, there's some really clean windows in Soirwrenian houses, and it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Soirwren's national animal is the deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Soirwren is ranked 27,707^th in the world and 616^th in The East Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 19.56 average smiles per day.