The Dominion of The Captain is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ritual sacrifices, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 45.363 billion Captainians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Captain City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Captainian economy, worth an astonishing 29,917 trillion TDU Credits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 659,511 TDU Credits, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,177,921 per year while the poor average 5,925, a ratio of 1,042 to 1.

Homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, children use fake IDs to purchase candy, the government loves seeing the little people fight, and the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. The Captain's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is a major religion.

The Captain is ranked 20^th in the world and 1^st in Wysteria for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 73,678.22 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.